Dancing In the Dark
by Z-L.B
Summary: This is an AR with an all human cast. Spuffy Fic. William is a great writer. On paper he can be witty and suave but only on paper. In life he is quiet and tends to fade to the background. Allowing his best friend to bask in the spotlight. Unfortunately wi
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything recognizable, all that stuff belongs to someone with a heck of a lot more money then me.

**Summery: **This is an AR with an all human cast. Spuffy Fic. William is a great writer. On paper he can be witty and suave but only on paper. In life he is quiet and tends to fade to the background. Allowing his best friend to bask in the spotlight. Unfortunately with his best friend gone it makes his lack of presence more obvious to himself. Tiered of this and how the world views him, he decides to change. The problem is after a accident he becomes what he wanted to be his true self now literally forced to the background. Tragedy strikes while he hides within his new persona. Finding someone who means the world to him in need of him the way he was. But when the dust settles will he find this person loves him as himself or as someone else…

**Authors Note: **This idea actually came to me when I was listening to Dancing in the Dark, by Bruce Springsteen. (Just the seed afterwards my muse gave it a life of it's own) Now I will try to stay true to the characters as possible, but keep in mind due to the different dynamics of their relationships in this fic they may come out a bit off. Either way, I hope you enjoy…..

**Prologue: In The Beginning **

William never was much of an adventurer. He was an observer. He was the one who wrote about the adventurers. Secretly he wished he was outgoing enough to be like his best friend Riley. Riley was the confidant one, the jock, the lady's man … in other words, the hero…

William didn't begrudge his best friend this. How could he? Riley was always trying to get William to crawl out of his shell. But William never had Riley's confidence. So he spent his life thus far being a sidekick, if he even ranked that…

But no matter how different, they were best friends since they were seven. Growing up living on the same street, going to the same schools. Hanging with the same friends. They even ended up in the same collage. They would go home for visits together. Usually William staying at Riley's house because his own parents were away on business. As they usually were…as they had been for most of the big days and holidays of his life. What little time he did spend in their presence was to be carted off across the sea to England to attend one boring family function or another. If it weren't for those he doubt they would remember his name. Although William's parents house was only a couple houses away. William liked the close family atmosphere of his friends home. Especially compared to the bleak loneliness of his own home.

Riley also had a sister, Buffy. She was four years younger then William and Riley. Growing up Riley and William would often include the littlest Summer liking the feeling of big-brother-dom. But that got old quick as the boys entered high school and life seemed to begin and end on a weekly basis. Making it so usually Riley and him avoided the exuberant youngster when they where at the Summers home. Coming home to visit during collage he started to see changes in the girl he once knew. It was almost like while he was gone she blossomed a little more from his best friends little sister in to a beautiful and sophisticated young woman. Not that Riley or his sister knew of the change in his feelings. William was always good at hiding his feelings, never letting them out anywhere but on paper. You see on paper he had all the right words the confidence and the wit. But only on paper….

After graduating collage Riley joined the military. He'd wanted to join just out of high school but agreed to attended collage first to make his parents happy. It was hard loosing his life long best friend. But it made William look at what he wanted in life. After graduation William fallowed his dream to be a writer. Deciding he needed for once in his life be bold, he decided to turn down his parents offer of financial help and do it on his own. He worked as a research assistant for one Mr. Rupert Giles, a professor at Stanford Collage. It was enough to pay the bills and still left room for his writing.

It didn't take long for him to sell his first book. His novels usually took place long ago in the time a lords and ladies. But they were always packed with the right blend of excitement, adventure, and romance. The hero always quick witted and debonair. He was a great writer. And a best seller. His publisher received bags and bags of fan mail on his behalf, Partly because he was also a mystery. His book jackets never contained his photo, and he wrote under the pen name, Wesley Wyndham-Pryce. Only a precious few knew who he truly was.

After a while although he still had a good amount of die hard fans his book sales dropped off. As the readers have started turning to more modern based novels. And so began the needling from his publisher to "give the people what they want"

William shied away from such writing because he wasn't sure he could pull off that world. The time which he wrote about was chosen because the hero was expected to be debonair with a certain amount of decorum, fighting the good fight purely out of conviction and perhaps the love of a good woman. But modern heroes where tough and sarcastic with a devil may care attitudes. You Basic 'bad boys' with hearts of gold. And although golden hearted, William hadn't the first clue of how to be a bad boy, much less write one…  
And so our story begins…..

A/N : Ok, that was the intro, I hope it wasn't too confusing. Once again I'd love to hear what you think….


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1: My Life **

"I just don't know Buffy, I want to do it, I guess, I mean a modern character would be interesting, but all the ideas I come up with they don't seem right. My publisher is pushing for someone like these action heroes in the movies, Bad asses… I'm not sure I can pull that off, although my early period characters are considered roguish for the time period they would be considered very strait laced nowadays I can't write what I don't understand and a bad ass is something I never learned how to be…" he sighed. It had been three years since Riley went off to the military, and although at first contact with his best friend was good, it started to get less and less, his letters just basic over views as he wasn't able to talk much about what he was doing. He'd caught the eye of the right people and had been put in a special forces unit. Now it was rare his family heard from him outside the yearly holidays letter, much less William receiving anything. Some how the lack of his best friend in his life had brought him closer to his best friend's sister. Not that he ever thought they had any chance on any romantic level he was starting to consider her a good friend. Which meant he started to open up to her finding she was much more receptive to his internal musing then her brother had been. As he slumped back in his chair holding his cell phone to his ear.

"Common, Willy I've heard stories about you and my brother at collage…" Buffy on the other end was kicked back on her bed in her dorm room. Her head hanging off the foot of the bed as her sock covered feet were crossed at the ankles near the head of the bed. She held her cell phone to her ear with her right hand as her left one dangled off the bed. She ended up going to the same collage William worked at as Professor Giles's research assistant. Which meant her and William stayed in pretty good contact. Although they didn't hang out or anything, they talked on the phone often occasionally meeting for coffee on campus.

Although his book sales would allow him to quit his job and write full time, William still worked as a research assistant because he actually enjoyed the work. And secretly gave him a reason to stay near the collage, although he did trade his small apartment that was a half hour drive away for a nicer one just off campus.

If one listened closely you could swear you could hear a soft growl coming from the other end of the phone. "Buffy you know I hate that nickname… If you must shorten my name call me Will…" he preferred William but could live with Will, she'd called him Willy since she hit Jr. High and decided William was just too uncool a name, how Willy was any better was beyond him….

"I told you before I can't call you Will anymore… I call Willow, Will. It would get confusing…." she sounded pouty but she had a big grin on her face as she said it, knowing he couldn't see it. She'd started calling him Willy as a joke, figuring he'd just maybe blush and shrug it off like he did with most things that bothered him. But he actually got defensive, after getting over the shock he spoke up she decided she liked the nickname and used it when ever she tried to get him riled up, "now stop changing the subject…"

"I'm not. Collage… well collage was collage. And going to a few kegers watching everyone get drunk and disorderly while I sat in the corner writing sipping on a wine cooler does not a bad ass make…." his voice laced with a bitter tone. Quick to cover that bit of insight his tone might have revealed he spoke again his voice controlled again, "Besides, although outgoing, I wouldn't really classify your brother as a bad boy… He got his work done attended all his classes. And even when he did drink, he didn't get smashed. And he never engaged in that stupid stuff most of the futurity guys did."

"oh, ya he's a saint…" she said dryly. After a few moments she thought out loud, "Well, maybe you can get in the right mind set, I mean it's not like your all naive or anything. I'm sure there was a time you at least thought about being naughty…" She always felt William could be so cool if he just got a little confidence in himself. She'd hear him and her brother talk when he didn't know she was there and his mask he showed the world was off, he was smart and witty and had an insight that most people lacked. Sometimes it annoyed her when her brother would make a witty comment that he'd heard from William. And instead of taking credit for it William would just let Riley bask in the lime light. She loved her brother and knew he didn't do it on purpose, but she felt bad for his friend that wanted so desperately to be seen and just didn't know how to do it. She knew that part of what made him such a great writer was these qualities he hid from the world. Although she would never admit it, she read all his books. Keeping them carefully hidden in the false bottom of her trunk. After a few moments she noticed the silence on the other end. "You still there?"

She heard him sigh again, "yeah, I'm still here…." After the initial shock and blushing her phrasing brought forth realizing what she meant he began to think but still didn't see the solution, "You know how my parents raised me… besides, being friends with your brother is the closest I got to cool, and even he fell way short of being a bad ass… And let's face it, your mom would have known if he acted up even that far away from home. Your mom I swear, it's like she has a built in B.S. detector…"

Buffy smiled at his obvious attempt to change the subject, at least it was obvious to her. She knew he hated talking about himself in the first place. So dwelling on the subject of him was definitely out.

That's when she got an idea, "well, maybe you could do a little research. There is a club me and Willow go to. It's somewhere to start…"

"Buffy, clubs aren't really my thing…." even in collage Riley couldn't get him to go clubbing. Being dragged to keggers was bad enough without paying $15 to confirm what a looser he was. He wasn't much of a drinker, and those places were too dark for anything but dancing and making out. Also, he couldn't dance other then formal. Having learn formal dancing because his mom insisted he take lessons as a kid. Riley had one of his many female admirers try to teach him once. The girl got frustrated every time she tried to get too close like was popular in modern dancing he would take a step back. At first it was because he found the situation uncomfortable. But the girl was so annoyingly forward after a while it was just to piss her off, the best part was when she finally had him backed against a wall he stepped down on her foot, not hard enough to seriously hurt her but hard enough for her to give up. Of course he foreigned innocents, but deep down he was sure Riley knew he was doing it on purpose, cause he never tried to set something like that up again. Besides, he never stepped on a foot accidentally even when learning formal dancing, he had a natural grace on the dance floor. Too bad no one ever got to see it. Cause even though he had a use for it at family functions like weddings and such, he had a knack for blending in to the background.

"Look meet us at **Bean Scene **8 o'clock Friday. If your not there I will go to your apartment and drag you out!" she said in her 'I mean business' voice.

"ok ok I'll be there…." they chatted a bit more then hung up. Only then did he drop his head in his hands and wonder what the hell did he just agree to?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2: Lets Party **

((**The Lime Light **and **Bean Sean **are actual establishments. Although I have changed their locations and layout to better suit my story.))

"you sure about tonight?" Willow Rosenberg's voice came from the closet where she was trying to find her red satin bodice. "I mean William never seemed to be the clubbing type"

Buffy paused from her careful application of makeup. "Everyone has to start somewhere, remember when we first met? You spent more time in the library then any human should… If Xander hadn't dragged you out every now and then you would have had no life." Willow popped her head out of the closet long enough to stick her tongue out at Buffy. Then gave her an 'and your point is' look, before returning to her search.

Buffy laughed, "The point is, look at you now, all dating a band member and everything…. You don't just sit on the sidelines either like you used to, your on the dance floor… You just needed someone to show you the fun… so does William.." she then went back to her make up application.

" well, he did do the collage thing with Riley… I mean from what you told me, I would think if anyone would show him the fun Riley would…" finally finding the bodice she was looking for she let a happy sound and quickly went to put it on. Then went over to the mirror to do her own make up.

"My brother may have been his best friend but there was just some things he was blind to." She looked herself over happy with the results she moved over to give Willow more room to work. "I just know a side of William my brother didn't understand…" that's when she noticed Willow had stopped applying her makeup and was staring at her with a shocked look. Buffy frowned at her best friend, "What?"

"you… you LIKE him!" she sputtered. And let out a disbelieving laugh.

"I do not! He's just a friend that needs help. Not even a friend, a friend of my brothers…" but even as she made her denials a slight blush had settled on her face. She spun away and went to get her shoes on…

"oh… my mistake…" Willow said softly as she looked apologetically at Buffy, but the moment Buffy looked away she indulged in a knowing smile before returning to her makeup…

They were looking for parking when Xander Harris spoke up from the back seat. "it's sure great of Oz to get us in for free… I mean Willow has girlfriend rights but to include the rest of us is pretty awesome of the guy."

Willow smiled proudly, "Yeah, he's great isn't he?" Willow met Oz at a party at Xander's Frat's house about a year ago. He had invited his best bud Willow and her roommate Buffy. He'd had a thing for Buffy when they'd first met 3 years ago, but soon it was obvious that he and the blond made better friends then lovers, well, it was less a realization then an ultimate acceptance of her friend only feelings for him.. Oz's band was playing the party that night. Unbeknownst to Willow she'd immediately caught Oz's attention upon entering. It took a few more random run ins till he got up the courage to ask her out, and that is as they say was that… they have been dating a few months now.

"Oh My GOD!" the surprised voice of Cordelia Chase Xander's girlfriend cut threw their conversation from her seat next to Xander, "Look at that fashion disaster outside the **Bean Scene**!"

As everyone else in the car turned to look at what Cordelia was talking about Buffy closed her eyes and silently prayed, "Whatever power is listening don't let it be William!" she slowly turned and looked too. "someone up there hates me…" she mumbled as her eyes landed on William in a traditional 3 piece tweed suit.

The moment she got out of the car she rushed ahead of everyone else and approached William, "What did you go threw your closet and pick out the absolute worst outfit you could find?! I know your not the most stylish dresser in the world but I know you can do better then this…"

He could see she was mad. Part of him knew she would be, "It wasn't my fault… Professor Giles asked I attend the meeting with him with the research department heads. I didn't think it would run this long but it did." and if he'd went home he wouldn't have made it in time and really didn't want Buffy showing at his house with her friends to drag him out. Some how he just knew it would not be good, Or maybe deep down he was just scared she wouldn't really care enough to show up like she said she would. " If it is that big a deal I'll just go change and come back" by that time her friends had reached them and he heard a snide comment about his suit in a poorly attempted whisper from the brunette on Buffy's friend Xander's arm. Williams eyes fell to the ground. He knew it was a mistake. He didn't belong here.

Buffy shot Xander a look that said 'shut her up!' She wasn't a big fan of Cordelia to begin with. She put up with the snob for Xander's sake. Xander met her a few weeks ago through one of his fraternity brothers. Although they did nothing but exchange barbs from the moment they saw each other, they were making out my the end of the night. Even now arguing was like some kinda weird mating ritual for them… Turning back to William she knew if she let him leave now he would not be returning. "Wait here don't leave!" she grabbed Willow by the arm and whispered with her for a few minutes. Then came back to William. "come with me" Grabbing him by the arm she dragged him back to the car.

He looked confused as Buffy dragged him over to her car. Willow close behind after promising Xander and his girl that she would be right back. "you don't have to give me a ride I have my car…."

"your not going home, we're gonna fix you here." opening the trunk "Ok, first take off the jacket…." he looked like he was going to protest so she gave him her resolved look. Sighing he took off his jacket and handed it to her.

"The glasses too…" Willow piped up. frowning he took off his glasses and handed them to Buffy as well. Being only near sighted he didn't really need them all the time. Just mainly when driving or doing anything that required him to see from a distance, but he felt awkward without them.

"ok, the vest next and tie" He followed her instructions.

Willow spoke again, "Untuck your shirt and undo your top button." Her shook his head like he couldn't believe he was doing this.

"better?" he asked deciding there wasn't more they could remove, or at least that he would let them remove. Buffy and Willow started critically at him. He looked skyward to avoid their intense gazes. Finally he heard Buffy sigh.

"well, It's better then before… It will do…" she made sure his things were folded neatly in the trunk his glasses out of harms way before closing it. "So ready to meet the fun?" she said brightly. As her and Willow linked arms and started back towards Bean Scene leaving William to follow reluctantly behind.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3: Almost Fun**

They met back up with Xander and his girl. He must have said something to her because she didn't look none too happy with him and he looked rather relived to no longer be alone with her. William got a quick introduction to Cordelia, to which he gave her a polite hello, to which she responded with a cold hi and a toss of her hair. As she turned back to Xander, Willaim bit back a comment on her ice queen attitude. Only to find Buffy elbowing him as they turned to walk towards the club a few doors down from the coffee shop they met at. He gave her a confused look.

"Damn it William, for once will you stop being polite and just say what your thinking!" she growled. As she moved forward out of rebuttal range. She wanted him to insult her friend? And how did she know what he'd been thinking anyway? But all too soon they were at the doors of **The Lime Light**, the hottest club in town.

Rather then wait in the huge line forming in front Willow went to the employee entrance where a rather large gentleman stood guard. "Hey Max!' the red head greeted the rather dangerous looking individual.

The off-putting frown on Max's face melted into a grin, "Hey Willow! Your just in time They go on stage in 5 minutes… Hey Buffy…" he greeted the blond. William found himself taking a protective step towards her. Just because she was Riley's sister, he told himself. As a voice in the back of his mind called him a liar.

Willow confirmed that she was on the list for back access as well as her friends. They were shuffling inside when all the sudden one of Max's rather large arms blocked William's way, "where do you think your going?" he growled.

Luckily Willow noticed and tapped Max gently on the shoulder, "he's with us… He's um… Buffy's cousin from out of town…." Max dropped his arm but gave William a look that said he was damn lucky he was a friend of Willows.

"thanks…" he whispered to Willow as the door closed behind him, glad it was too dark for her to see his embarrassment. Obviously it was also Max's opinion he did not belong here. They had just got here and already William wanted to go home. After giving William a small reassuring smile, Willow hurried over to where the band was chilling just off stage and kissed Oz hello.

Afterwards, the others gave Oz a quick hi and a thank you and left Willow to spend a few minutes with her man. Meanwhile, the rest of them made their way out to the clubbing area. At the bar everyone ordered something to drink. The bartender giving William a smirk when he asked for a wine cooler. William just made a lame statement about having to drive later, as he quickly picked up his drink and moved to the table the group chose at the edge of the dance floor.

Few minutes later the crowd out front was allowed access and the club quickly filled. The dance floor moved with the music. The band was great. And after a bit William started to relax. It wasn't too bad. Other then the slight pangs of jealousy he felt watching Buffy occasionally dancing with different guys. He was having an ok time.

Buffy and her friends were once again dancing in a group. Buffy waved to him and as he returned the wave she motioned for him to join them. He shook his head no at first and was about to give in when he noticed Buffy stopped dancing and was looking oddly in his direction. Before he had too much time to wonder why, he felt a soft graceful touch on his shoulder. He turned to look in to the most hypnotizing dark eyes of a raven haired beauty.

Her voice as mysteriously captivating as her eyes, "Do my eyes deceive me? Or have I found me a knight amongst these dragons?" giving him a smile that seemed uniquely sweet as well as predatory, "Tell me Sir knight, What is your name?" she rocked gracefully back n forth as she talked making her somewhat entrancing.

"Wi…William…" he swallowed hard. Never had he had such devout attention of a female, much less one so… captivating. Her hand moved gracefully from his shoulder tracing a soft line to his chest where her fingers lazily played with one of the buttons on his shirt.

"William…" she repeated as her eyes lit up, "Yes, a proper name for a knight…" she let out a little laugh of delight, "Oh, do wait till I tell Mrs. Edith, I said one day I shall find a knight of my very own…" She now reached down and took his hand in hers, "Please Sir William, favor me with a dance…"

He stood up but did not move to the dance floor, "I'm afraid I do not know how… at least not this type of dancing…"

"of course not…" she gently caressed his cheek. "a knight only dances proper…" she leaned in to his ear, "But perhaps this princess may teach the knight to be a bit naughty…" William's eyes widened. He was about to pull away when she got a look on her face as though she were a heart broken child, "Oh! Sir William does not like the princess…" she began to wring her hands and back away.

He reached out and grasped her hand, "No… Please don't be upset. I'm sorry, Of course I'd like to dance with you…" All at once her smile was back and again he was held in the depths of her eyes, as she led him out to the dance floor. Almost as if on command the music changed from a fast to a slow beat perfect for closeness. At first William tried to maintain his distance befitting a gentleman, but this mysterious raven haired beauty would have none of it. Soon she slipped her arms around his neck as she drew him close to her body rubbing and caressing against his. Her hands began to wander his upper body as she seemed to caress him in just the right way. His eyes began to roll up in to his head slightly as he let out a soft moan. He was lost, his mind cut off from the sensations she evoked threw his body.

Before he knew it her mouth covered his and he was lost in her kiss. The world shut off around him and all his senses focused on the woman in front of him. That is until he felt her suddenly jerk away. And something hit his jaw. He didn't fall but he could taste blood from his swelling lower lip. He looked to see a tall dark haired male standing next to the woman he'd been dancing with, "How could you do this Dru? With that?!" he motioned to William's direction obviously considering him less then worthy.

"Oh, is my Angelus dear jealous?" she purred. Obviously pleased with herself. "Maybe he should learn to share like princess does when her Angelus goes to play with Darla…"

The guy looked even more pissed, "I told you Darla and I are just friends… All that other stuff is over between us…"

Drusilla looked stubborn, "I know more then my Angelus thinks… The stars, they whisper of your 'friendliness' with Darla…" her coy smile returning, "besides, Princess likes her knight…" her eyes swung over to William desire burning deep within them.

But William was no longer hooked, he realized what part he played and it was that of the man to make her boyfriend jealous enough to dump his little bit on the side… "look, I didn't know…" he didn't get to finish his sentence when Angelus took another swing at him. But this time he saw it coming and easily ducked out of the way. Lucky for him Riley's favorite way of staying fit was boxing and other forms of conventional sparing. Riley often insisted William join him at the gym convinced that maybe the testosterone driven activities would give William a little more confidence in himself.

Angelus swung twice more still getting nothing but air as William easily dodged. Growing frustrated, "Gunn, Ben!" Angelus called his friends and William was flanked on either side. This time when he went to dodge Angelus he was grabbed and held by Gunn and Ben.

By this time a crowd had formed Buffy and her friends pushing their way threw, "William!" Buffy cried out his name. hearing the fear in her voice he struggled against the two who held him but his struggling did nothing as Angelus hit him hard in the stomach. Buffy having pushed her way threw the crowd got in Angelus' face and started calling him every name in the book. To which Angelus knocked her to the ground with a backhand. Time seemed to slow as William saw red. He slammed his foot back into Gunn's shin yanking his other arm hard enough to free it and elbow Ben in the nose. He then threw himself at Angelus getting in a few good hits till someone come into his line of sight, he turned just as something smashed against his head just above his left eye. His left eye stung as blood ran into it. Holding a hand over the cut, the bouncers finally breaking threw the crowed grabbing him and the other three guys and pulling them towards the fire exit telling them they were banned from the club.

So now here he was outside, in the alleyway beside the club bleeding facing off with three very pissed off guys. "look I didn't know she was your girl," William started but was cut off.

"Please, you think I'm jealous of you?" Angelus laughed, "This is just a warning for you not to get attached. She chose you because she knew someone as pathetic as you would be an insult to me." his friends stood behind him smirking as if confirming his words, "the only action a guy like you could ever hope for from a chick like Dru would be pity access…"

He was a jerk and William knew he shouldn't listen but still, his words hit a vulnerable spot in William. Not saying another word he just turned away and headed towards his car. He was almost to it when he heard his name being called, Buffy must have made her way out the front and was looking for him, but he didn't stop he just got into his car and left. He didn't need to see anyone right now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4: Harsh Words **

Between his lack of glasses and him not able to see out his left eye, it was amazing he made it to the emergency room in one piece. There they removed the piece of glass left in the gash in the outer corner of his left eyebrow. It took a couple stitches to close. They flushed out the blood in his left eye and gave him some wet wipes he used to clean up the dried blood from his face. Now cleaned up from the neck up he drove carefully home. Glad he had a pair of contacts there he saved for special occasions so he wouldn't have to see Buffy again any time soon. Or so he thought…

He walked up to the door of his apartment to find the blond in question sitting outside his door. Holding his belongings Her head was bent down as she was asleep. He rolled his eyes and sighed. He unlocked his door as he cleared his throat loudly to wake her up.

After a moment of confusion as to her surroundings, Buffy jumped to her feet and yawned. "you left with out your things…"

He turned on the light and motioned for her to enter. "I know, I had to go to the emergency room." he pointed to the stitches on the outer corner of his left eyebrow.

She stepped in. waiting till he closed the door before taking a look at his stitches, "Those jerks!" she said heatedly. Her eyes fell to the blood stains on his shirt, she shook her head, "I swear if I ever see that guy again…" she moved further in to the apartment placing his things on his coffee table. Then she stood there for a moment, obviously she had more to say. William moved further inside as well. Suddenly she looked at him sharply, "And you! How could you go and get in a fist fight with a jerk like that?"

"ME?!" he looked at her like she'd lost her mind, "Hello, I was the victim here… he attacked me… I was just defending myself…" how could she blame him for what happened?

"Well, you WERE all over his girl…" something flashed in her eyes as she said that but was gone before he could read what it was.

"First off I wasn't all over her and second how the hell was I supposed to know she had a boyfriend?" he found himself starting to get steamed, not something he felt often, especially towards Buffy…

"oh, come on… Just looking at her… she had to be…" Buffy stopped knowing she was going to say something wrong.

Something clicked in his head, now he knew why she was blaming him, "what? She had to be what Buffy? Using me… a woman like that could ONLY be interested in me as a way to make her guy mad? Is that it?!" his anger and hurt rising with each word he spoke.

Buffy didn't say anything for a moment but the guilty look in her eyes said it all. He was right, that was what she was going to say, but she didn't mean it like he was thinking, did she? "Look William, I just meant…"

"you know what Buffy? Right now I'm not that interested in what you meant… I think you need to go home…" the hurt evident in his voice.

"William…I.."

He was no longer looking at her and his voice was firm and even, "I don't want to talk anymore, thank you for my things… go home Buffy… " he still would not look at her as she stood there, "Please…" he said softly. With tears in her eyes that he didn't see, she turned and left. Only once he heard the tell tale click of the door did he look over at the spot she once occupied. And with tears in his own eyes he walked back in to his room.

The next day William was at his laptop typing like mad. He decided he needed to start his new book. That would help him greatly not to think about the past events. Deciding he would just do the best he could with what he already had, if it bombed oh well, every writer has had at least one book flop, right?

He started to think about the main character. Maybe first deciding where he was from would help. So like he did with many of his characters he threw a dart at a map. He looked and the dart landed on England. That shouldn't be too hard seeing as his own father was English, He remembered occasional trips to his father's family estate in England, when there was some sort of family function going on, wedding, funeral… or whatever.

Those being the only times when he would travel with his parents, as his presents was mandatory for such family functions. Still is. His Father's family was of the upper crest not too many bad boys, but then he remembered his cousin. William was thirteen attending his aunts 2nd wedding with his parents. His other aunt had made her son attend, but soon it was obvious she wished she hadn't. He was considered the black sheep of the family.

He showed dressed all in black leather, sliver safety pins all over his attire. Five different piercing on his face and he had multi colored spiked hair. He showed up riding a motorcycle. His parents took one look and forbid him to interact with the guy, but William couldn't help but be fascinated by the older cooler kid. William sat back in his chair as he remembered the kid who at the time was at least six years his senior. The smirk, the attitude, and what was it he insisted on being called? Spike! That was it… Spike. Now there was an example of a bad ass if ever he saw one. William smiled as he resumed typing, he had his hero…

But as he typed he started to wonder if that could be him. Would he ever have the courage to go against everything the was taught to be and do as he pleased? He laughed as he imagined himself in head to toe leather, with a chain laden biker jacket. Buffy would probably choke on something to see him like that. His typing stopped. He remembered their argument the night before. As well as the comments of others that night. Why did he find it so hard to go outside the lines? He spent so much time censoring himself he never found the time to ever just let go. And who was his timidness making happy? Certainly not him…

He stood up, "in the words of Spike…Why bloody hell not?" he grabbed a small black case out of his top drawer, then grabbed his jacket and keys and left…


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5: Time For A Change**

(The establishment names were made up by my brother and me except for "**The Gap**", so if there is truly shops by these names it is purely coincidental )

He didn't know exactly were to begin his little journey. But he figured the mall was a good place to start. He wandered around but nothing seemed right, the main focus of fashion seemed too tame in most of the shops. He was about to give up when he stopped in front of one shop called **Skulls of Imps**. It was dimly lit but he could see from the front window displays this was what he was looking for.

In fact he knew it was what he was looking for when he stepped inside and was greeted by a tall male dressed the same leather clad style as his cousin had been, and with the same belittling smirk. "ok, you turn right and go down 4 shops big sign can't miss it…"

"excuse me?" William asked. Looking very confused

"you were about to ask me where you can find **The Gap **right?…You turn.." he looked beyond bored with this conversation already…

"uh, no…" William cut him off, "I'm actually here to buy some new clothes." the male raised his eyebrow in disbelief, "I'm looking for… well…" he looked down at his own clothes and shrugged, "Something not this…"

"nothing we have here is …that…" he still looking at William like he was going to tell him this was some kinda lame prank. Then when no such thing happened he gave a deep sigh like he was about to take on a monumental task and moved to the nearest display, "First you need to start with the proper base…." he eyed William a moment then grabbed a pair of black jeans, and a black form fitting T-Shirt. "put these on in there…" he pointed to the changing room which was pretty much a wooden box with a curtain for a door.

William stepped out after changing, the sales person looked him over critically, "Loose the glasses…" William quickly removed his glasses as the sales person circled him. Stopping and pulling a blood red silk shirt from a hanger, "put this on over it…Don't button it" he threw in as William started to do so. He then walked over to a display of heavy black leather work boots. "What size?" William told him he grabbed the proper size and tossed them to William, "Put those on too…"

After William was done he handed him a thick black leather belt, "put this on and tuck in the under shirt. He then nodded, "now do something with that hair and you'll look half way cool…" William looked himself over in the mirror, he didn't recognize himself from the neck down, but that was the point right? "Now would you like me to ring those up for you, or were we just playing dress up?" from the tone of his voice it sounded like this wouldn't be the first time someone did that.

William tore his gaze from the mirror, "oh, definitely ring me up." If this works out he will certainly be back. But this was good for now. After ringing up the clothes, and removing the tags the sales clerk suggested he wear them out of the store and burn his other clothes. To which William did wear the clothes right off but instead of burning his old ones he just had the sales clerk drop them in a bag for him. The clerk commenting if anyone saw this bag and looked inside they'd be ruined. Spike took it to his car and put it in the trunk. He drove a 1959 DeSoto Sportsman in Starlight Black. He'd had it since high school. And although he could easily afford something newer he couldn't part with his first car. But it is in better condition now that he could pay for professionals to fix it instead of Riley's friend Mark. He decided he didn't need his glasses till he was gonna leave, so he put them in their case and in his jacket pocket. Placing his jacket gently in the bag with his clothes. Closing the trunk, he decided, to take the clerk's advice and do something about his hair.

He walked up to one salon and looked around, this place wasn't exactly male friendly. Smelled of perfume and the decor was definitely feminine. He backed out. He saw a few more similar salons. He thought of going to his normal barber, but somehow he doubted he would find what he was looking for there. Finally he came across a salon with the neon sign **Complete Overhaul**. Under the store name was a smaller light up sign that announced piercing and tattoos also available. One of the stylist had bright blue hair and studs in his nose and eyebrows, to go with the whole line of them in his ears. William stepped inside.

The male stylist was working on shaving a rather intricate pattern in the customer's hair. He paused at the sound of the door, "What ya lookin for? Hair is here, piercing and tattoos are up those stairs…" he said nodding towards the dimly lit stairs in the corner of the salon.

"I'm here for hair…" he didn't get anything out passed that before the guy was yelling towards the back of the salon.

"Faith, you got a customer…So put out that damn cancer stick and get your ass out here…" he then returned to his work, leaving William to just awkwardly stand there waiting for this Faith person to show.

The brunette stepped out from the back. She was wearing tight leather pants and a black halter top that barely covered the necessary areas. Her dark brown hair fell around her shoulders. Her body was well toned and curvy at just the right places. Oh, she was definitely hot, or would be if she didn't have the look on her face that was somewhere between boredom and threatening. "sit…" she barked at William, who did just that. "What do you want? I do cuts, dies, and weaves, You want fading or pattern work that's Max's territory and you'll have to wait…" she said nodding to the blue haired man who without taking his eyes off his work smirked like he really doubted William was the fade type…

William ignored the man's smirk, "I'm not sure what I'm looking for, I want different, something that goes with these clothes…" he sat there as she looked him over. Then nodded.

For the next hour he was at her mercy. He heard clipping and saw his locks fall away. Then she applied this really bad smelling stuff to his hair and told him to let it sit a bit. Which was easier said then done as the stuff started to sting a bit. The whole time he waited, thinking maybe he should have been more specific. He didn't want to end up with hair like the male stylist…

Soon enough she was washing the stuff out and drying his hair not saying a word the whole time, while the male stylist next to them seemed to be a ease chatting with his clients. Her silence was making him edgy and anxious but he held still and just waited, telling himself for better or worse it would be over soon. Finally she was done as she finished combing gel threw his hair. "Ok, done…" she sounded bored. Although she watched him closely for his reaction.

He turned and looked. She had cut off the excess length and bleached his hair. She then had it slicked back against his scull with gel. At first his eyes grew wide from shock. But then when he stood up and took a step closer to the mirror taking it in with his clothes even the stitches on the outside corner of his left eyebrow, it looked… right. His shocked expression slowly faded as he tilted his head a bit. Then one side of his mouth lifted in to a smirk. Which removed the last trace of William. He paid the woman giving her a huge tip besides.

He was walking the strip of shops when heard some woman comment on the "hottie" without turning his head he looked out the side of his eyes, to see a blond checking him out. So many emotions ran threw him, ending with panic as she walked up to him. "Hey" she spoke, "My names Harmony…"

He turned and looked at the blond trying his damdest not to show the nervousness that he felt, so he took a deep breath and smiled, "Hello Harmony…My name is…"

"William?!" he turned at the sound of his name to come face to face with the last person he wanted to see, Cordelia Chase.

"you know him?" Harmony asked Cordelia. Looking a bit confused as her friend did a remarkable imitation of a fish…

"I…I… Ya, he's that friend of Buffy's I told you about… But…" she shook her head trying to grasp the fact the guy her and Harmony had been checking out from behind the last ten minutes was the same fashion disaster she met the other night. Boy what a good fitting pair of jeans can do for some guys butts!

Harmony looked really confused now, "But you said he dressed like a nerd. That not even his mother could have dressed him worse…" she tipped her head in typical dumb blond fashion, "Funny he looks pretty hot to me…" she flashed him a flirty smile.

But William was barely noticing the blond right now. As Cordelia seemed to have finally processed the new information and was now looking him over with a critical eye. "you know it will take more then just changing your clothes to be up to her standards…"

"Whose standards?" he asked a hint of nervousness in his voice.

Cordelia rolled her eyes, "Please, she maybe blind but I'm not… You totally have a thing for Buffy…"

"I do not!" he denied cursing the blush rising across his cheeks. "This has nothing to do with Buffy, I decided it was time for a change…"

Cordelia smirked, "Ya, right. The only reason a guy decides it's time for a change is if it's gonna get him a girl or money, and unless your gonna get a job as a stripper or a bartender at a biker bar, I don't see how this look will help you get money, but… getting the attention of one Miss. Buffy Summers on the other hand…."

Harmony who seemed to barely be keeping up, looked hurt, "You like Buffy? Why? She's so…" Harmony scrunched up her face as she tried to comprehend a guy wanting Buffy over her.

"Look I don't know what you think you know about me, I'm doing this for me and no one else. I'm tired of…" he just threw up his hands and turned to walk away, wondering why the hell he was trying to explain himself to her in the first place. So he left the two girls, not noticing Cordelia flipping open her cell phone the moment he was out of ear shot. Going to his car he opened up the trunk to retrieve his glasses from his coat. but the he paused.

Instead he reached for the black case he'd taken from his drawer. He opened it up it was his contact kit. He put in his contacts instead. While waiting till his eyes adjusted to the contacts being in, he closed up the case and closed his trunk. He was now ready to go…. But where?

He sat behind the wheel thinking. He then started it up. He was just driving around no particular destination when he looked over at a shop window and saw it. Quickly pulling over he walked over to the shop. It was black, leather, and perfect! He walked in to the shop and was greeted by a well toned male in his late forties. He was wearing faded jeans and a leather vest over a white T-shirt. He smiled as William admired the leather duster he had on display in the window. "She's a beauty aint she?" William nodded. "She was a custom job. The guy never came back for her though… Because of that she is a little more pricey then the rest of my stuff…"

William didn't care. This jacket called to him. He looked at the lining. Inside was a couple pockets one containing a silver flask. He pulled it out and looked at it. It had a picture etched on the face of an open scroll and a feather pen writing out the words _True Poetry_. He wasn't a drinker but the flask brought a smile to his face.

"The flask is included, It was part of the custom job…" William smiled and nodded as he slipped the flask back in to the custom made pocket. "So what do you think?"

"I'll take it…" he removed the jacket from the display and walked over and handed the man his credit card. As the shop owner rung him up, His eyes dropped on a flyer that was pinned up by the register. It was for a local bar called **The Lair**. He noted the address and wore the jacket out of the store. He loved the way it flared as he walked, it made him feel powerful, manly, bad…..

Jumping back in to his car he headed towards the bar he saw on the flyer. As he was pulling around back where the parking was located his cell phone rang. He flipped it open without looking at the caller ID. "Hello?"

"What the hell is going on?!" a very irritated voice answered back.

"Buffy?"

"Yes, Buffy! What the hell is this I hear, according to Cordelia you've become a biker look alike?"

He frowned as he parked the car, feeling the confidence that had been slowly growing all day, "First off, How I dress in neither yours nor ice queen's concern. Secondly, …well… No, I'm gonna say it… where the hell do you get off yelling at me like your my mother?"

All the sudden her voice was soft, "Is this about what happened at the club?" Damn her! He didn't want her to sound understanding, cause then he had no defense against her.

"No… yes… maybe… I don't know Buffy, It's a little to do with last night but not really. I…I ….I don't know how to say this…" how ironic a writer who doesn't have the words to describe his situation. "I'm doing this for me… and whether you understand it or not, I need this…"

There was silence at the other end. For a moment he thought he lost the signal, but a quick glance at his phone shown he had full bars, finally she spoke, "Still not fair…" she said in a pouty voice, "How come Cordelia gets to see your new look and I don't…." he smiled at her antics. Knowing full well it was her way of relenting without actually saying so.

"Well, I wasn't like I sought out her fashion advice, believe me… One of her friends approached me and she just happen to recognize me from the other night…" he still wasn't sure how she recognized him when he barley recognized himself.

"Approached you?…. Like hit on you?….Who?!" if he didn't know better he would have thought she sounded a bit jealous. He quickly dismissed the thought as wishful thinking.

"Some blond, I think her name was like Melody or something," he'd been too nervous at being approached by her in the first place then when Cordelia made her presence known well the blond dropped of his radar completely.

"Harmony?! That…" she didn't continue.

Raising an eyebrow at her reaction, "ya that's it…"

Her voice soft again almost unsure, "What did you tell her?"

He frowned this conversation was definitely taking a weird turn, "Nothing really, I got into an argument with Cordelia and then left…. I don't think I even said goodbye…" he shrugged.

"Don't feel bad, Harmony would have been lost at the first big word you used…" she seemed a bit chipper. "So what did you and Cordy fight about?"

Everything he'd been thinking went out the window as Cordelia's words echoed in his head, he swallowed hard, "n-n-n-nothing really… she just made some dumb comment about my change in appearance and I tried to set her strait but figured it was useless so I left…." he was so glad they were on the phone and she couldn't see him blushing something fierce.

"what did she say?"

"Look, I don't remember I was mad, stuff was said, can we just leave it at that?" he didn't mean to sound harsh but there was no way in hell he was repeating that little conversation.

"Fine." she paused again, "Can I see you? I swear I won't be all judgy an stuff…Please?!"

He thought about it. He really wanted to have more of a test run before she saw him. But what the hell… it's not like she was around the corner, if she met him here, he would have the time he needed to prepare himself. "Uh, if you want I'm at a bar called **The Lair**." he gave her the address and some quick directions. Then after they said their goodbyes, flipped the phone closed.

Locking up his car he made his way around to the front entrance. He'd been distracted by thoughts of what he imagined Buffy's reaction would be, he didn't notice the car tearing into the parking lot. Not till he heard the screech of breaks just before it hit him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6: Enter Spike**

Head…pain….throbbing…pain….pounding…pain…. Bloody Hell!

The car had slowed enough so William had just bounced off it's hood. But when he fell to the ground his head hit the concrete in in a sickening smack.

He slowly opened his eyes his head in incredible pain. The owner of the car was out looking down at him, "Man, I'm so sorry are you alright?!"

He forced himself to his feet his eyes narrowing on the driver. His hand shot out and grabbed the guy by his throat and pinned him to his car. "You almost bloody well killed me you stupid git!" he leaned in on the man tightening his grip on the man's throat, "I swear if I ever see your bloody face again I'll rip your soddin spine out threw yer bleedin nose hole ya got that?!" he then pulled the guy away from his car and threw him to the ground. The guy quickly scrambled away form him.

Rolling his shoulders and stretching his neck he walked in to the bar. He patted down his pockets, "Bloody hell…" he grumbled. And walked over to the cigarette machine. He bought a pack of Morley and then settled at the bar, "Ya don't happen to have some matches do ya mate?" he asked the bartender. Who dropped some in front of him. Lighting up a cigarette he took a deep drag. His lungs burned and constricted in protest. As he choked back the smoke commanding his lungs to cooperate. After a few more forced attempts his lungs seemed to give in and allow the smoke in although the burn remained. He's ordered a whiskey and was about to take a drink when a pair of hands glided around him.

"My knight returns… but his armor looks a bit tarnished…" He turned to look at the raven hair beauty.

He raised an eyebrow at the woman, "I ain't no bloody knight, luv. But I can guarantee you stick around me you'll need protection." his eyes flashed with double meaning.

She giggled, "Oh, William is a naughty boy!" she growled and made a biting motion in his direction.

"William? I aint no William, do look like a bleedin ponce to you? Names Spike Luv" he smirked at her. Woman was sack of hammers but damn she was sexy. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to him. Her arm circled around his waist as she made a noise that sounded almost like a purr as she nuzzled close.

Then he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder, he turned to see a large dark haired male frowning down at him. "Watch the leather mate…" Spike's voice filled with a warning undertone.

"I think you should be more concerned with the fact you have your arms around my girl" the tall brooding figure grounded out.

Spike lifted an eyebrow clearly unimpressed with the guy's threatening tones, "More Like your girl's got her arms around me, Peaches…" he flashed a taunting grin at the guy then made a show of turning away and nuzzling back on the girl in question.

Angelus frowned at being brushed off, he pulled Drusilla away from the bleached blond and turned to grab the guy as he slipped off the bar stool out of Angelus' reach. "Hey, don't take it out on me you can't keep your girl happy…" his voice taunting as he wore a anger inducing smirk.

Angelus let out a roar as he took a swing at Spike. Who easily dodged.

With each missed swing Angelus got madder and Spikes smirk got cockier. Angelus finally landed one that snapped Spikes head back but did not knock him down. His lip split. Tilting his head a bit, he poked the cut with his tongue. At the taste of his own blood what could only be described as an evil grin crossed his face, "My turn mate…"

He let loose with a furry of punches one busting Angelus' lip another his nose. Spike the gabbed him and hit him in the kidneys then the stomach. As he bent over Spike rammed his knee into Angelus' ribs.

With Angelus a pile of pain on the ground the Bartender took that opportunity to say something. "Uh, guys, Take that outside or I'm gonna have to call the cops…." he stopped talking as Spike gave him a deadly look. When Spike looked back Drusilla was bent over Angel making cooing noises. Trying to help him up. Spike rolled his eyes. He didn't need some crazed bint anyways…

He swaggered back to the bar and shot down his whisky. The burn felt good to him. He felt alive. And juiced up from the fight. He looked over at the door as Angelus and his crazed girl left. He smirked about to call out a biting comment to the departing couple when she walked in. The two woman's eyes met as they passed. Recognition etched on both their faces and quickly turned to frowns. After the brunette disappeared threw the door with The Great Forehead, the blond then looked about the bar with worry etched across her pretty face.

Her eyes glided over Spike but then she stopped frowned and her eyes swung back to him again. As recognition downed in her eyes, they got wide as her jaw dropped in surprise. Spike who had been watching her threw the mirror behind the bar frowned. Now what?

The blond ran up to him and as he turned to meet her she threw her arms around him. At first he was shocked but then thought _'what the hell? How many beautiful blonds just throw themselves in to your arms?' _so he relaxed and was about to return the hug when she pulled away. Looking him over her eyes landing on his lip. "I knew it! I knew when I saw that slut leaving with that stupid jerk there was another fight!" she then looked a bit confused, "although I must admit I expected you to be in a slightly worse condition…."

This girl was getting more and more confusing with every word, she talked like they were friends but he couldn't for the life of him place her face. She looked a little too innocent compared to the kinda chicks he hung with. "You know that poofer?" he asked referring to the idiot he just wiped the floor with.

"Poofer?" she frowned the he nodded towards the door. And she finally understood, "That jerk? No, I just remember him and his skank from **The Lime Light**. When she hit on you the first time to make her boyfriend jealous."

Now it was his turn to be confused again, "First time? **Lime Light**?" He looked down at her , "I doubt we hang at the same places, pet…"

Buffy frowned. "What's going on William? What's with the accent? Your acting like you don't even know me…"

All the sudden he looked like he gained some understanding, "Sorry luv, my names Spike. I guess I must be a dead ringer for this William bloke, but he's not me, you got the wrong guy, pet." he ordered another whiskey like the conversation was over.

She seemed to sit there and considered the possibility that he could be someone else but decided definitely not, this was William, was he acting a part maybe. Well that was stupid and childish. "I don't know what kind of reaction your looking for but I'm not playing…"

As his whiskey arrived he looked over at her with a bored expression on his face, "Look luv, I don't bloody know who the hell you think I am. But I don't bloody well know you or this ponce William." he rested a hand on her hip as he slid a seductive smirk across his face, "Now if you'd like to get to know me…"

She wiggled out of his grip as she faced him stubbornly, "You know my name is Buffy!"

He cocked and eyebrow, as his smirk turned more condescending, "Figures, you look like a Buffy…" he knew his words would get a rise out of her, but he obviously didn't care.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? I don't know what game your playing WILLIAM but I'm not playing WILLIAM!" she emphasized his name to drive her point home.

All at once the look on Spike's face went from amused to irritated, He gabbed her by her upper arms and held her firm as he looked her menacingly in the eyes, "Listen you silly bint! I'm not this Bloody William you think I am… Names, Spike, learn it, remember it, fear it!" he then released her and turned back to the bar, as he lit a cigarette.

Holding back the burning response of his lungs as he slowly exhaled, he refused to cough in front of her instead he threw back his whisky replacing one burn for another. He hated the hurt he saw in her eyes as he set her strait. Great… she's off her rocker and he feels guilty, when did he turn in to such a nancy-boy?

A cold feeling settled over her. William would never treat her like that, no matter how mad he was at her. She knew this much. Something was wrong. What happened to him? Maybe he hit his head in the fight with that stupid jerk. "Will…Spike?" she softly touched his upper arm. He turned just enough to look at her out the side of his eye keeping the majority of his face turned from her. "I don't know what happened…" how was she supposed to find out what happened. Questioning him further might just upset him more. And although she trusted William with her life, she didn't know what Spike was capable of.

Then she got an Idea, "Ok, I must have the wrong guy I mean I can't see how, but just for my own piece of mind can I at least see you driver's license? I mean then I'll know for sure I got the wrong guy." She hoped this worked and he didn't just blow her off. If this was William he was in need of medical attention.

Spike sighed, now what was this silly bint up to? He still felt a little guilty for loosing his cool on her otherwise he would have just blown her off. He got up off the bar stool and patted own his packets finding the tell tale lump in his front left pocket. He pulled out his wallet. Flipping it open his eyes landed on the driver's license, "What the bloody hell?!" he pulled out credit cards and staff ID all had the same name, William Pratt. He picked up the driver's license again the picture showed a guy who was the embodiment of the name William. He looked bookish and reserved and those bloody glasses.

His mind would not accept this, it had to be a trick, some how someone switched his wallet. He stuffed the cards back inside and shoved it at the blond next to him, "Funny joke, but I'm not bloody playin. So take your tricks and give me back my wallet then you can go sodd off…"

"No joke, I swear! When would I have time to slip you a wallet much less take yours?' he looked unsure so she pushed forward, "Think, did you hit your head in the fight?"

"Bloody hell no I didn't soddin hit my….." He paused as if remembering something, "Bloody hell…" he whispered. No, things like that just don't happen. Did they. He looked stricken then his eyes locked with hers as his face went unreadable, "Say I believe you, What do you plan on me doing about it?"

Her face went from worried to compassionate, "I know you feel freaked, I would too. But if what I think happened, happened well your going to need to see a doctor…"

He thought about that, a doctor would solve this little mystery, "Fine, but I choose the doctor." he slipped off the stool, as her face brightened in to a smile. It was worth a trip to the doctor to see that smile. She seemed to glow. Spike fought the urge to pull her close into a deep kiss. Figuring she might not appreciate the gesture, obviously this William guy and her were just friends, then remembering the picture he thought to himself, _'definitely no way that guy was anything more then a friend. Too bad…'_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7: Second Opinion **

He fallowed her out to the parking lot. His eyes scanned the parking lot. His eyes fell on the DeSoto and something in the back of his head said, _'mine.' _He walked up to the car pulling out his keys.

She was glad he at least recognized his car, but should he be driving? "Uh, why don't we take my car, and we'll come back for yours later…." she was cut off by a look that told her under no certain terms was that going to happen. She glanced at her car. She hated leaving it here, Especially since for all points and purposes Spike was a stranger. She seemed torn. She then looked at Spike, "Can you at least go slow so I can fallow you?" He smirked and nodded. Then jumped in to his car as she walked to her own, feeling a bit silly being scared of the guy she knew most of her life, but then she reminded herself that at least for the time being this was not that guy.

If she needed further proof she got it on the way to the hospital. As he seemed to play with her. He would shoot a head to the point she was sure she was gonna loose him but then he would fall back and let her catch up holding it for just a bit before shooting up ahead again. She bit her lip torn between irritation and amusement. This was definitely not the William she knew. This guy was dangerous looking and Spike definitely had as much abundance of confidence as the real William lacked.

Finally arriving at the hospital she parked her car and walked over to where he was leaning against his smoking a cigarette. She couldn't help wonder how William will react to Spike's treatment of his body upon his return. She opened her mouth to tell Spike that he shouldn't smoke because of this but closed her mouth deciding she already knew the lack of caring his response would contain. So instead she smiled, "Ready to see the doctor?" Happy when he crushed the half smoked cigarette under his boot. Giving her a non committal shrug as they headed inside.

As they approached the front desk, Buffy took the lead, "Hi, my friend here hit his head, and we need to see a doctor."

The nurse glanced at Spike then back at Buffy as if to ask if he was the one with the head injury. Buffy nodded. The nurse then took some quick information typing it into the computer. Buffy still had William's wallet so she was able to find his insurance card and hand it to the nurse. The whole time Spike just stood there looking around, not offering any assistance to the process. The nurse then looked him over determining the level of emergency of his injury. Getting quickly bored of her scrutiny, Spike smirked at her, "See anything you like luv?"

The nurse rolled her eyes clearly unimpressed, "Any bleeding, nausea, dizziness or headache?"

"Nope but got a bloody huge lump though." he touched the back of his head. Her nurse came from around the desk and looked over the back of his head. As Spike stood there with an impatient look on his face.

"But no dizziness or nausea huh? Well, a lump this big he could have a mild concussion but if he hasn't felt any nausea or dizziness he doesn't seem to be in any immediate danger…"

"Wait! He doesn't remember who he is!" the nurse gave her a look that said she should have said that earlier. To which Buffy flashed her an apologetic look.

"well, in that case, fallow me," she began walking ushering Buffy and Spike in to a examining room, "Because of evidence of sever head trauma the doctor will be with you immediately. Please take a seat. She pulled a white paper cover across the examining table and looked at Spike, "you on the table." she walked out.

Silence reined the small white room till the door burst open to revile a middle aged man with a kind face. He held a clipboard, "Mr. Pratt?" he looked expectantly at Spike.

"You tell me mate…" Spike said with a shrug.

Buffy sat up a bit straighter, "Yes, this is William Pratt…. He doesn't remember who he is…"

The doctor held up a hand to silence Buffy, "Um," he looked over the papers in front of him, "And you are Miss?"

"My name is Buffy Summers"

"Oh, I'm afraid because of the nature of the injury, only family is allowed in here during the examination, if you'll wait in the waiting room…"

"no! wait, He's my fiancé!" the doctors eyes dropped to her hands which she shoved into her pockets. He then gave her a skeptical look. "Ok, he's not but he's my brother's best friend I've known him since before I could crawl! Please…" she looked at the doctor with big doe eyes tears glistening in the corners.

The doctors face softened, "Ok, Miss Summers, you can stay." he then turned to Spike, "Ok, Mr. Pratt, lets start with the basics… I'm going to ask you some questions and your gonna tell me what you remember…"

As he questioned Spike he carefully examined him. His face was unreadable the whole time. The first few questions Spike had answers for his name, place of birth, age. All rolled off his tongue but when asked more intimate details of his life like, where does he live, when did he start smoking, does he have any siblings? there were blank spots that were beginning to prove to Spike that maybe Buffy wasn't the one wrong here. Finally the doctor was done examining and Spike was looking pretty rattled. "I would like to do a few scans and make sure we are fully aware of the extent of you cerebral trauma…" he gathered the clipboard making a few notes, "The nurse will be back to prep you for that…" he gave them both a reassuring smile as he took his leave.

Buffy sat quietly waiting for Spike to say something. But he remained quiet. Not looking at her just staring off in to space. Then as the nurse came in to prep him and inform Buffy this time she would have to remain in the waiting room. She watched him disappear down the hall as she slowly made her way back to the waiting room. "Hurry back William…" she whispered softly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8: Waiting **

As Buffy waited she replayed the last few days in her mind starting with her not so brilliant idea of taking William clubbing. She's spent so much time getting ready. Choosing her outfit carefully. She wanted to make an impact on him. Only to have it ruined by her having to attack his attire.

Then once inside she tried so hard to get him out on the dance floor. Trying again when she knew the band was gearing up for a slow song only to witness his seduction by some slut.

Then if that night wasn't enough of a disaster. She went to go check on him only to let her jealousy get the best of her. She didn't mean to lash out at him. She just didn't know how to deal with her emotions. Yeah he'd dated here and there over the years. Bookish types like himself. Never really went anywhere. But tonight he got in a fight over some girl, some girl not her… that really stung her deep.

Then spending the next day trying to think of a way to make it up to him when she gets a call from Willow, who got a call from Xander, who got a call from Cordy saying William had went all 'Rebel Without A Cause' Then she calls him and not only finds out it's true but that he'd done such a good job the likes of Harmony was hitting on him!

Logically she had no rights to him. It was that damn unspoken rule that said because of his status as her brother's best friend he was off limits. She was sure if he made a move, gave her one hint her feeling might be returned she knew she would let the rule be damned. But he never did. As far as she knew she was no more then a surrogate little sister. And although that allowed for friendship in the absence of her brother, it did not lead to declarations of love.

Not that she was in love, it was just a crush. A crush that festered since her senior year of high school. She thought back wondering exactly when it started, there was a lot of little things but one day kept coming to mind.

It was her senior year of high school. She'd been dating Parker Abrams since the middle of junior year. She like him he was a good guy she guessed. But although he never pressured her, he hinted that he wanted to take their relationship to a more physical level. Although she already had her best girlfriend's opinion on the subject she kinda wanted a guy's point of view. But she knew she couldn't go to her brother. Because lets face it, even if she could get him to promise not to involve their parents, she knew Parker would get a sudden and threatening visit from Riley. And she knew it would not be hard for Riley to intimidate Parker. Riley was just good at things like that and took his big brother duties VERY seriously.

So that left her with a limited list. The only trusting name on it was William. William she knew if she asked him to, he would keep their conversation between them. Even from her brother. And some how she knew he would be honest if that is what she asked of him.

So she waited till him and her brother came home form collage to visit for the holidays. As usual he would be spending most of his time at their house as his parents were away… again. She often frowned at the lack of interest they took in their son. But hey, their loss was her family's gain, right? Because one thing that definitely went without saying was William's acceptance in the Summer household.

She saw her opportunity when her parents and Riley went to pick out a tree. They always waited till Riley was home to do this. And although she usually loved their little family ritual she decided that this was the prefect time to speak with William, as he declined to join them. He'd been on the phone with his parents and wasn't feeling up to it, in light of his own lack of family bonding. She quickly declined too saying she didn't think it right to leave William alone. William looked like he was going to tell her not to be bothered but she shot him a pleading look that said her staying here was more for her then him. So he held his tongue and her parents agreed.

So they left and William glanced at her looking not sure what to do. He obviously knew she wanted to talk, but probably thought it best to let her start. She decided she didn't want to do this at home, so she suggested they take a walk. William agreed and they put on their coats and walked down to the nearby park. They walked in silence. William never once pressed her to start talking he just walked silently beside her allowing her to gather her thoughts. Soon they were at the park by the swings. She sat on one and he sat on the one next to her. Still he waited quietly for her to start.

She started by filling him in on what was going on at school. Easing into her relationship with Parker. She was still skirting around the issue when he began to speak.

"You know I remember my senior year. Remember when I was dating Tara Maclay? We'd been friends for so long just seemed natural we started dating. But then we seemed to go no where. We were stuck. Then the night of prom she'd surprised me with a hotel room…." Buffy was a little surprised, she never knew that. Tara was such a sweet girl. That seemed a bit bold for her. But Buffy didn't say anything. But it did evoke questions about their breakup. She knew not too long after Tara and William broke up Tara had 'come out'. William hadn't seem surprised at the time, his only comment was he hoped she found someone worthy of her and able to love her like she needed. "I won't lie, I wanted to… I really did. But I couldn't. It turned out to be for the best later, but I didn't know it would at the time. I just knew I couldn't do it. I mean I could physically but…." he sighed and tipped his head to the side his eyes far off in the memory, "I knew as much as I cared for her and our friendship, I didn't love her. Not truly deeply forever love. Not the kind of love you not only felt in your heart but also in your soul. And for me, I need that. For me, that should be the final act of giving yourself to someone you love in ways beyond normal logic. And as tempting as it is to just do it, I made that decision long ago. The only one that worked for me. You see it was something I couldn't decide threw others. I had to be true to who I was no matter what that may be. I would never criticize anyone's choice, cause the only one they are obligated to in that situation is themselves."

She understood what he was saying. He'd read her question without her stating it. He'd answered it without judgment or pressure for details. He just let her peek in to his own experiences and let her take what she would from that. And that was enough.

They sat and talked awhile longer. Talked about this and that. Never once was the underlined need for this talk stated, nor was ignored, it just was. She never did tell him not to say anything. She knew he wouldn't without her telling him. This was between them and that's how it would remain. He never brought up the subject or hinted to it in later conversations either. It was just left there in that moment of time.

When they got back her dad and Riley were putting up they tree and her mom was making some hot coco. They all spent the rest of the evening laughing talking as they decorated the tree and sipped hot coco.

Buffy sighed as her eyes glistened at the memory. She looked expectantly at the waiting room doors but they remained firmly in place. She couldn't sit still so she paced. She let out a ragged sigh.

Finally the Doctor came threw the doors and motioned her over. "We have some preliminary findings, It will be a while till we have something more solid. Mr. Pratt asked you be there as we go over them."

She nodded. Walking in she saw Spike's face was unreadable. He was already sitting in a chair. He was slouching and staring at the clean linoleum floor. He didn't even look up as they entered. She sat down. And the doctor also took a seat. The long and short of it was Spike's brain showed some signs of swelling. Not dangerously so but enough to account for the amnesia. "The thing is though we can't rightly say why he replaced what is essentially his persona with another. Especially, from what you've told us, one so drastically different. The memory loss he has can common with head injury but not the rest. It's like his mind used this Spike person to compensate for the missing William…."

The doctor broke off as Spike slammed his hand down on the armrest. He jump to his feet, "I'M right here! Stop talking like I'm some bleedin figment of …" he stopped as he realized that's exactly what they were saying he was. He was someone's creation. Made up… not real…

"Bugger this!" he stormed out of the room.

Buffy jumped up to follow him but the doctor stopped her. "Like any other amnesia victim he's going to need time to adjust. In all honesty this maybe harder then other cases because it's hard for him to know exactly what is missing and what returned memories are true and what have been replaced by well…"

"So there is nothing that can be done?"

The doctor shook his head, "There is no way to force back the lost information, nor can I do more then guess how long it will last. Could be days, weeks, even years. The mind is still very much a mystery to us. All I can suggest is be there for him, and try to help him adjust. Don't try and force the memories back, it won't work, they will come when they are good and ready."

Buffy nodded. After a bit more talking she was finally free to go look for Spike. She found him just sitting behind the wheel of his car his lead back frowning at the roof of the car.

She approached cautiously. Before she could speak he started talking. "Was gonna leave…. Realized didn't have any bloody where to go…." his voice was strained like he was trying his damndest not to get too emotional around her. At least not the emotions she knew he was feeling. Fear, confusion… nothing anyone in their right mind wouldn't be feeling, but she let him keep up his pretence. Having a feeling making him show any emotions she would get the others, anger, maybe even blame…

She sighed. She wanted to make it all better, but this wasn't William she was dealing with. She had a sneaking suspicion Spike would not appreciate any kind of helping hand. An idea struck her, "Say, you wanna go get drunk?"

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow that said of all the things he was expecting her to say that was not one. "Don't really feel like crowds about now luv"

She tilted her head like she was considering his words, "Neither do I…" she looked at her watch, "Still an hour left till liquor store's close, We can get something there and drink on our own. Since I got a roommate, We'll go to your place…"

He was about to point out the fact he was still here was because he didn't know where his place was. But she beat him to the punch, "Looks like you'll have to follow me now…" she gave him a smirk with a mischievous glint in her eyes, "Hope you can keep up…" she turned and sprinted to her car not waiting for his response.

The gauntlet was thrown and there was no bloody way he was gonna ignore it. "Lead the way pet…" he said to himself as he fired up the engine.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 9: The Meeting**

Spikes first reaction to the place was a deep frown. And a somewhat disgusted shake of the head. After he poked around a bit they settled in to the front room and started drinking. It was pretty quiet at first but after a few glasses, they both loosened up a bit but the conversation remained minimal.

3 hours and 2 bottles of tequila later they were still sitting in William's living room. His living room had a overstuffed couch with matching lazy-boy style chairs on each side a coffee-table in front of the couch. With an entertainment center across from the seating. Buffy was sitting cross legged on the floor with her back against one the lazy-boy chairs, while Spike was sprawled out on the couch. His duster draped over the back of the other lazy-boy chair.

Buffy was telling Spike all about the William she knew. Spike swallowed down the last of the tequila in his glass and grabbed the bottle as he rolled his eyes, "Bloody Hell! I'm tired of hearin about that soddin ponce. The more you tell me the less I can believe, I can have been such a bleedin poofer!"

Buffy frowned, "First, if your gonna say somthin do it in English cause I'm like huh?." she sat up and like a new born fawn struggled to the standing position. "But! I pretty sure from your tone it was full of badness." Now standing she pointed down at Spike, or at least his direction as she tended to be a bit wobbly, "So I say on the behalf of William…Bite me!"

Spike put down the bottle as he pushed up off the couch and wrapped his arms around her. "All ya have to do is ask pet." He smirked at the shocked look on her face. From what she's told him and what he's put together himself. That was a very un-William reaction.

After a moment she recovered and started to squirm out of his embrace, "I didn't mean….oh!" she'd made the mistake of looking up in to his eyes. Those blue eyes, she'd wanted to see up close from this position for the longest time.

Spikes smirk slipped from his face as her eyes locked with his. He'd meant to tease her and was pretty sure she'd pull away by now. Instead she looked at him with those big green eyes. He leaned a bit closer to test the waters, and sure enough her eyes slipped closed as she waited for him to kiss her. To which he was happy to oblige.

Her lips were soft and her mouth sweet. Her arms slid around his neck. One hand caressing the back of his neck the other straying into his hair. Has he dipped further in to her mouth one of his hands slid to her hip as the other ran threw her silky hair. She let out a soft moan against his mouth.

Suddenly pain shot threw Spike's head. He tore away from Buffy and fell to one knee as he grasped his throbbing scull. "Bloody Hell!" was all he could get out just before a voice boomed threw his head _'Don't touch her!' _the pain finally subsided.

It took her a minute to realize what was happening but soon she was by Spike's side, "Are you ok?" she saw his face grimaced in pain as his hands clenched his scull.

As the pain lessoned his head began to spin making him feel nauseated. "Bathroom…" he choked out as he tried to keep the retaliating tequila at bay. Buffy helped him to the bathroom where he made his offering to the porcelain god.

Buffy looked concerned from the doorway, "Should I call the doctor? Maybe it has something to do with your head injury…"

Spike shook his head as he spit the remnant taste out of his mouth. "No, pet, Just too much drinking… I'll be out soon…" she nodded and stepped away from the door.

He flushed the toilet as he stood up. He made it over to the sink and began to rinse his mouth out. Thinking to himself, _'I'm not alone am I?' _there was a moment on silence in his head when a voice answered, _'No' _it was so quick and soft the couldn't be sure he didn't just imagine it. Spike smirked at his refection in the mirror, "This William?" he asked his voice barely audible. There was silence. Spiked shrugged, "Got better things to do anyhow, nice warm Buffy too…" he didn't finish his sentence as pain rang threw his head again, _'Lever her alone!' _the pain subsided again and Spike rolled his shoulders and looked hard at his own reflection, "Then maybe you should start talkin mate, Cause as I'm told, You're the soddin coward that ran away putting me in your bloody place. So I'm figurin you need me." again it was quiet. "Bugger this!" he started to turn away when the voice returned.

Instead of angered like before it was calmer, _'Don't hurt her.' _now he could make out the voice as his own, but the tone and lack of accent told him who he was talking to. Spike sighed and responded in whisper yet again, " 'nd why'd you think I'd go an do that mate?" the voice was harder with a trace of disgust. _'She's Drunk' _Spike smirked at this "Bullocks! So am I…. admit it… yer jealous!" wrong response the pain slashed threw his head, _'Leave her alone!' _Spikes ears started to ring at the intensity of the pain. "Bloody hell! Alright…" Spike ground out threw gritted teeth. The pain subsided. Growling Spike stood up strait and made his way back in to the living room.

There he found an unconscious Buffy laying on the couch. Spike looked at her peaceful innocent face and he felt a stirring deep inside. He reached down towards her when William popped back in his head, _'Leave her alone!' _He grumbled softly to himself, "Give some bloody credit mate, not gonna molest her in her sleep. Jus gonna put her in the bed where she can rest with out becoming pretzel Buffy…"

He waited for a response but got none. So he slowly scooped her up so not to wake her. Carefully carrying her to the bedroom where he deposited her on the soft bed. He then took the quilt from the foot of the bed and put it over her.

He pushed a stray hair back away from her face as she cuddled in to the quilt. He then looked over at the empty space on the other side of the bed. _'couch!' _he frowned and let out an exasperated sigh, "ya ya… whatever.." he grumbled as turned to leave the room.

He settled down on the couch and soon was slipping into unconsciousness. It was one of those dreams where you knew you were dreaming. The room was pitch black except for a bright light in the center of the room. It illuminated a circle. There a figure stood deep in thought.

Spike approached the figure cautiously. His footfalls echoing with each step. The closer he came to the person the more he made out the curly mousy brown hair. The preppy way of dress and wire rimed glasses. He knew who he was looking at a split second before the figure looked up acknowledging his presents. The moment their eyes met his theory was confirmed. He was in the presents of none other then William himself…

"so yer the soddin poof that invented me huh?" Spike reached into his duster which he was still wearing in the dream and pulled out a cigarette. He then light it with a silver Zippo that seemed to appear in his hand. _'I already know I'm dreaming so might as well go with it.' _He thought to himself as he took a deep drag off the cigarette.

William frowned at Spike, "That's another thing we need to discuss…. Do you have to smoke so much?"

In answer to William's question Spike blew smoke in his face. "Look if you think I'm here fer a rundown of your do's n don'ts save yer breath cause, I… don't… giva... toss." he punctuated his response with a deep drag off of his cigarette.

William sighed and took off his glasses and started to clean them, "I don't suppose reminding you that I created you will help any…" again William got smoke in his face.

"look yer to much of a ponce to deal with yer own life fine. But as long as I'm here I'm do things my way." he took another drag of his cigarette blowing the smoke out threw his nose his eyes daring William to say otherwise.

William frowns at him, "Just leave her alone, I don't care what you do with whomever else just leave her alone!" he placed his glasses back on as he glared at Spike.

"whatever mate, your just jealous cause she likes me where you never got anymore then a pat on the head from her…" taking a long drag he smirked, " 'n fact I bet I got further with ol Buffy tonight then you have in all the bleedin years you've known the chit"

The look on William's face said it all. Spike's words were right on the mark. But instead of giving in he just took a haughty pose "Please, she was drunk! She wouldn't want someone like you, she's a respectable girl… which is why I refuse to let you take advantage of her!"

Spike smirked as he flicked his cigarette away, "you sure about that mate? Cause I don't think it was just the liquor I think she wants me and it's killin you…" he leaned in his eyes flashed like a predator going in for the kill, "Tell ya what mate, I won't do a thing… But if she comes to me, well all bets are off… never been one to deny the ladies…"

William rolled his eyes, "not going to happen, but if by some slim chance it does, well I'm not gonna stand in the way."

Spike nodded. He turned to leave cause as far as he was concerned they were done, but stopped short. He turned and looked at William curiously, "One question mate… why all the hiding, why are you in here and made me for out there?"

William looked away, "you couldn't understand, but I needed time, this just presented me with the opportunity to do take it. So don't get comfortable, I will be back…"

The next thing Spike knew he was waking up with an all too familiar dull pain behind her eyes. Uk! Hangovers….


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 10: Shopping Goodness**

Finally dragging himself up off the couch he trudged to the bathroom to relieve the pressure in his bladder. He then stripped down and took a nice long hot shower. As his mind became more aware did he think of Buffy. Deciding he would definitely check on her after his shower.

Drying off with a fluffy white towel he found in the bathroom cupboard, he then wrapped it around his lower body. His found his eyes itching a bit. Remembering the eye glasses William sported in his dream shook his head as he looked inside the medicine cabinet. Sure enough, there was contact wash. Well at least he knew why his eyes itched. Reading the directions on the bottle, he leaned close to the mirror and removed the contacts from his eyes. He cleaned his lenses and put them back in.

He then walked into the bedroom disappointed to find the bed empty. The quilt he had covered Buffy with was neatly folded and placed at the foot of the bed. Hoping she'd just gotten up and about while he was in the shower, he picked up the pillow and inhaled her scent. Sighing he placed the pillow back on the bed before he turned to his closet.

"Bloody hell…" he frowned at the closet's contents. The only black pants where dress slacks and no black tops. He growled. Opening drawers he found nothing like his own clothes. Giving in he grabbed a pair of dark blue jeans and a red t-shirt. "will hafta do… walk up to Buffy all nude like that bloody pillock n my head will make my bloomin head explode!" although for a moment he thought it might just be worth it to see the look on her face.

After dressing he made his way back in to the living room. Still seeing no Buffy but the glass and bottles from last night were gone. His Duster which he'd thrown over the back of the chair when he came in was now neatly hanging on a hook by the front door. He peeked into the kitchen where he caught the smell of brewed coffee.

He walked in and there on the counter was a small pink box and a pot of coffee three quarters of the pot full. He peeked in the box and saw a small assortment of donuts. He picked out a chocolate frosted donut and took a bite as he looked through the cupboards for a cup for coffee. Finding one he poured in some of the dark liquid adding a bit of milk and sugar. Luckily having run across the sugar on his search for a cup. He finished off the donut and was sipping on his coffee when spotted the folded note on the fridge, he must have missed it when he got out the milk. It had his name on the front with a smiley face to dot the I. He took it off and looked at it.

Dear Spike,  
I'm sorry I couldn't wait till you woke up but I had to get to class. I got some donuts and made coffee. I will see you after my Propaganda in the Media class. I also wanted to let you know I called Mr. Giles for you and told him you needed time off, I didn't go into specifics because I wasn't sure how much you wanted to share with your boss. He said since they were ahead of schedule as it is he doesn't mind giving you 2 weeks off and to call if you need more time.  
I hope your ok with me doing that.  
See you soon  
Buffy

He dropped the note on the counter. He didn't mind her getting him time off from what he guessed was William's job. Better her than him having to do it. He wasn't in the mood to deal with the details of this guy's life. He didn't ask to be here and didn't see the need to act as if he had. He paused. He walked over to his duster and pulled out the wallet that Buffy had given back to him when they got back here last night. He pulled out one of the credit cards. He smiled, "I think it's time not only to buy Willy boy a new wardrobe but maybe show goldilocks a good time." He waited for some sort of rebuttal from the pain in his….head. But there was nothing. "so we're agreed." he grinned and couldn't wait for Buffy's return.

By the time Buffy got back Spike was back on the couch watching a Monty Python DVD. He was laughing his head off as she walked threw the door. "Hey, Good to see your up and about." he turned and looked at her as he pointed the remote at the TV turning it off. "Oh, I hope you don't mind me just walking in…. I always did with William it didn't occur to me you might…" she felt a bit awkward for a few reasons. The biggest one was what took place in this very room the night before.

He smiled, "Oh, I don't mind. S'not like yer gonna bloody rob or kill me…" he got up from the couch. He could tell she was thinking about last night. Although it is a subject he would like to raise… among other things… he said he wouldn't go after her, and he was pretty sure to bring it up could very much lead to a repeat performance. Because no matter how much William said to the contrary Spike knew she liked him. It was all in the kiss. That wasn't an I'm drunk and lonely kiss, That was an I find you attractive and I want you kiss. HE knew the difference even if Willy boy didn't. So instead he said the one phrase most birds love, "Hey, Lets go shopping…" and just as he suspected she lit up like a Christmas tree.

They hit the mall, sadly, most of the shops there where so definitely not him. When he came across this one store. Buffy wrinkled her nose at the store name, "What are Imps anyway?"

"It's a small mischievous creature resembling a fairy, from children's stories or a small demon or devil." whoa! Where did that little nugget of info come from? Buffy looked at Spike strangely, "whut?"

"You sounded like William just now…" she seemed unsure of how he would take her observation.

He swallowed hard, "Why cause I know stuff? You don't have ta be a bloody ponce ta know stuff…." and with a huff he walked into the store. He didn't even wait for the clerk he just started grabbing his size clothing. He dropped a big pile on the counter by the register. Buffy was off to the side looking through the spiked collars and Goth jewelry trying to not look hurt, but he could tell how she avoided looking at him she was. He sighed and walked over to her, "Look, Luv, I'm Sorry…I'm a bad rude man…"

She still didn't look at him while she shrugged, "I didn't mean to insult you. I don't think your dumb or anything. That was just how he would have said stuff. I mean he was my brother's best friend for as long as I can remember and my friend since I've been here at collage so sorry if I miss him. And you know what else…" ok she went from not looking at him and pouty to shooting daggers at him with her eyes and getting angry.

Any other guy would have been reduced to dust under that look but Spike, he found it stimulating. He lean closer so they were mere centimeters apart, "What else luv?"

Her breath caught in her lungs Buffy didn't know what to do. She needed to think before they went there again. She stepped back and looked over his shoulder, "I think you need to pay for your stuff…" she then pointed at the sales clerk that looked very board behind the register.

Making a soft growling sound he pulled away. Ok, next time, he hadn't even warmed up yet, it was only a matter of time till she came willingly. He was pulling out his wallet as he walked back up to the register.

The clerk looked at him curiously then recognition dawned on the boy's otherwise board face. "Hey it's you… Good to see you did something with your hair. And you came to your senses about your clothing…." He rang up the purchases with practiced ease.

Spike raised an eyebrow at the boy's words taking only a moment to figure out he'd been referring to William._ 'So that explains the lack of similar clothing in William's closet' _he thought to himself, as he swiped his credit card and signed the electronic pad. Luckily he remembered to sign William Pratt "Uh, ya… Last time I was in here I had really poncy brown hair…" he felt and elbow in the ribs from a frowning Buffy. Her look said I don't know what your said but I know it was bad.

"If you mean geeky, yup. The jacket's a nice touch but the fake accent is all wrong. If your gonna do an accent German is the way to go…" handing Spike back his credit card and his receipt as he began to bag the purchase.

Spikes eyes narrowed and Buffy was sure he was about to go off on the accent comment. So she grabbed the bag in one hand and Spike with the other, "Uh, thanks…" she dragged Spike out of the store.

"Can you believe that little pillock?!" he growled, "He's lucky I don't…"

"whoa! Spike! Chill! He's just a kid… what does he know about accents?" trying to calm him down, "Personally I like your accent."

"Really?" he arched and eyebrow as he gave her a suggestive smirk, "How much do you like it?"

She rolled her eyes and chuckled, "Down boy…" thrusting the bag of clothing in to his arms, "You want compliments you'll have to earn them…"

Spike looked a bit apprehensive, " 'N how would I do that, pet?"

Buffy smiled sweetly, "Well, you did your clothes shopping…. So now it's my turn…" she ushered him in to a nearby woman's clothing store.

"I don't suppose we're starting with lingerie or perhaps bikini shopping?" he got a good elbow in the ribs for that one.

"Pig…" but her smile said she wasn't offended or upset by his words. "Come on… it'll be fun…" Spike fallowed shaking his head.

"I think m gotta reschool ya on the meanin of fun, luv."

Several hours and several shops later They were both laden down with bags. "Please tell me we are done now…" Spike complained. Trying very hard not to whine. But he felt like a little kid being dragged around while his mom did her shopping.

Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes, "yes we are done. You know for the person who suggested shopping your all Mr. Grumpy…"

" 'M not…" Buffy raised an eyebrow at him, Spike shrugged giving in and decided to change the subject, " Sorry luv… 'M feelin a bit peckish is all… aren't you?"

Buffy eyed him strangely, "your feeling what?"

Now Spike rolled his eyes, "Hungry…in need of food…"

Buffy pouted, "well maybe if you'd speak English…"

Spike smirked , "Yer jokin right? Hello… 'm English, pet… Jus cause you bloody yanks bugger it all up isn't our fault…"

Buffy had both hands on her hips looking ready to go off when her phone rang. She gave Spike a look that said this wasn't over then flipped open her phone. "Hello?"

Buffy frowned, "whoa whoa whoa… Will… slow down. You didn't have more then one mocha today did you?" she tried to sound stern but she grinned, "What did we say about Willow and mass caffeine being unmixy? Uh-huh… what?! WHAT?!" Buffy started jumping up and down. As she let out a high pitched squeal… "They did?! That is so cool…" she paused. " and what did he say?" she looked a bit nervous just before her jaw dropped open, "HE DID WHAT?! NOWAY! What did you say?…. Ya well duh … but still… what about… well you know how your dad's gonna take it… Tonight? I don't know… Ok, I guess. Can I bring someone? Cool. Where? Oh wow that's fancy… smart move… ok… see you then…bye…" she closed her phone and looked at Spike, "how do you like French food?"


	12. Chapter 12

A/N No I havn't abandoned this fic. A lot of life got shoved in the way. That's why I've decided to have future fics fully written before posting. That being said, This fic will have a conclusion posted shortly I'm sitting down and finishing it off as my birthday present to me. So by the 28th this will be complete.

Chapter 11: Lady in Red

As soon as they got back to William's apartment Buffy made a b-line for William's closet. "I swear if it is full of tweed suits I'm gonna give him hell later…" she mumbled to herself. After searching most of the closet, she came across a black garment bag. She looked in the garment bag and pulled out a nice Armani suit. "Wow. Now this is a suit," she took it out to Spike who had turned on the TV. "Here put this on. I'm gonna go to the dorm and change I'll be back in an hour."

Spike looked up from the TV. "Really have no say in this?"

"No. See ya soon!" she walked out the door.

Spike sighed and continued to flip threw channels. His eyes wondered over to the suit. "No bloody way…" he grumbled and sank lower in his seat as he continued to flip threw channels. Once again his eyes wondered over to the suit. "never said I'd go…" he looked back at the TV only to have his attention drawn back to the suit. He saw a flash of Buffy's disappointed face. He pushed it away. Still as he turned back to the TV the image returned and persisted. "Damn!" Turning off the TV, he gets up and grabs the suit, "Bloody bint owes me!"

1 hour and 30 minutes later…

Spike is pacing the front room. "Ten more minutes then outta this bloody thing!" He grumbled to himself. Just then the door opened and Buffy walked in. "About bloody ti…" his ability to speak stopped as he took in Buffy. She was wearing a red dress that hugged her curves till the outer most swell of her hips then dropped down ending an inch above her knees. The material was light as fluttered around her with her every movement. The neckline dipped low enough to give a peek of cleavage but still remained decent. Her hair was up but left some tendrils curled around her face and brushed her neck. Spike felt himself stiffen just looking at her.

"Sorry I'm late, I couldn't find the right shoes… luckily Cordy had a pair I could barrow…" she finally noticed his staring, "Do you like it?" she smiled sweetly.

"Like it, luv…Like it so much got me thinking of better things we could be doin right now then going out…" Spike leered at her.

Buffy rolled her eyes, "Dinner first…" She turned to the door then threw over her shoulder, "Then we can talk about desert.." she then walked out the door with a little extra sway to her hips.

"Bloody hell…" Spike whispered as he swallowed hard and forced himself to follow this vision in red.

Buffy had to talk Spike in to handing over his keys to the attendant when they arrived at the restaurant. "One bloody scratch mate, and I'll rip your head off and drink from your brain stem!" growling as he handed the now pale looking attendant his keys.

"N-n-not a sc-scratch sir!" he grabbed the keys with a shaky hand and backed away from Spike.

Buffy elbowed Spike, "Stop scarring the kid!" she whispered.

Spike turned to her, "spoil my fun" then the two of them made their way inside.

As they walked in they were approached by the Maitre d' "How may I help you?"

Buffy smiled, "We are with the Rosenberg/Osbourne party."

The Maitre d' smiled, "Welcome, Your party is this way." he lead them to a large round table. Already there was Willow, Oz, Xander and Cordelia. Buffy and Spike sat at two of the four remaining chairs.

Spike automatically pulled out Buffy's chair. Only when she sat down did Spike realize what he did. He just shrugged it off. It was the environment rubbing off on him. He sat down in the chair next to her. Leaving two vacant chairs between Spike and Cordelia.

After the hellos were made and Willow informed them her parents should be arriving soon. The table was quiet. Everyone had been told of William's condition. This making everyone uncomfortable and not wanting to be the first one to put their foot in their mouths.

So Spike spoke first, "Look, Know you guys all knew William. But look at me, No poncy brown hair or glasses…." he got a sharp elbow from Buffy for that. Rubbing his sure to be bruised rib and returning the glare that Buffy was now giving him, "The point is kiddies, Just think of me as a totally different person. Cause I am. Not William with a condition. Just Spike. K?"

Buffy made it a point to turn from Spike, "Willow, congratulations again. You too Oz. I knew you guys were gonna be a long haul couple."

Willow smiled even as she had a slight blush across her cheeks. Oz reached over and squeezed her hand. "Thanks, I knew you guys would be happy for me. But my parents don't know yet, hence the dinner at my dad's favorite restaurant…"

Xander who'd been staring at Spike the last few minutes, took that opportunity to speak, "So like is there like two people in there? Are you and William like in a struggle for control?" all around the table let out groans, So much for not no one putting their foot in their mouth.

"Are you bloody kidding me? What do you think this is some soddin movie. No there is no William fighting for nothin jus me Spike." when a small voice inside said, _'Well not quite' _internally Spike growled at the voice to shut it's gob.

"Hey no need to get defensive just asking. I mean, who here wasn't wondering the same thing?"

"My parents…" gasped Willow

Xander looked confused, "your parents aren't here Will…"

""No!" Willow hissed at Xander and discreetly pointed towards the door, "My Parents! They're here! No more talk about William, No offence Spike" she gave Spike a shaky smile.

"None taken, Red. I agree." he then threw a dirty look in Xander's direction mumbling something that sounded like the word whelp.

As Willow's Parents approached Spike and Oz stood up followed by Xander after receiving a pointed elbow from Cordelia. Willow's parents were seated and introductions where made. By that time the waiter arrived with Willow's dad's favorite wine. Everyone had some except Buffy and Oz.

Everyone looked at their menus. Unfortunately they were in French.

Xander cleared his throat, "Not to sound uncivilized but I think they gave us the wrong menus. Cause looks like Greek to me."

"French actually. Hence the restaurant." Oz offered helpfully.

"Still not within my knowable languages. Which range from English to well English…"

Cordelia sighed and reached for his menu, "I'll help you…" she talked softly with him telling him what the various dishes where. Some she pointed out with the sole purpose of making him cringe.

Buffy was staring at the menu chewing her bottom lip. But her eyes were not moving like she was reading, just staring blankly at the center of the page. Spike whispered in her ear.

"Tell me what you like and I'll help you find it."

Buffy looked at him in surprised. He leaned close and whispered again, "I can read it. Don't know how but I know what it says."

Buffy smiled. She knew. William spoke and read fluent French among several other languages. Instead of telling Spike this and ruining the mood like she did at the mall, she just gave him a grateful smile, "Thanks." She then told him what she felt like and he read to her a few options. Picking one he showed her where it was on her menu and how to pronounce the dishes name.

Luckily the ordering went off without a hitch. As the waiter left the table yet again Willow's father spoke up, "Well, Willow you brought us here to share some news. So let's have it."

Oz was the one that spoke instead. "Well, Sir. As you know I play lead base for Dingos Ate My Baby. Who has been offered a recording contract that will take affect after our graduation this year."

"Congratulations son. But I don't think this is why you invited my wife and me here tonight." From the look in Willow's father's eye Spike thinks he guessed why and was not happy.

Oz could see it to. Spike could tell in the way Oz stood taller and squared his shoulders as if preparing to stand against whatever the older man might throw at him, "No Sir it is not. The reason Willow and I asked you here was because We decided now was the time to get married. We had planned on it anyway. But were waiting for the right time. This is it."

"It is, is it? I don't agree. Willow has another year of collage. After that her career might not leave room for gallivanting all around the world, which if your to be of any success you'll have to do. And where does that leave room for family. You gonna leave her to raise any kids you have while your off living like an over grown teenager?! I THINK NOT!" Willow's mother laid her hand on her husband's arm to calm him down.

"Easy honey. Maybe we should hear them out before we make any judgments" She then turned to her daughter, "Since it is your future in question, I think maybe you are the one we should be hearing from, No offence to you Daniel." Willows mother addressing Oz by his birth name.

Oz nodded. Willow looked pale. She hated confrontation. Especially with her parents. "I will finish school. They will not be doing any major traveling strait away. Then after that, well, I have no idea what I'll be doing. But that would be the same no matter if I were married or not. A lot of what I do can be done via internet and on a laptop. I may have needs to travel as well. To different companies all over the world and no that doesn't leave a lot of room for family at this point but we are young and have time for that. Look I know this is not your ideal situation it will take a lot of compromise and understanding on both our parts. But I believe we can do this because we love each other. I would hope that would be the important thing. What good is being a huge success if I have to do it without love?"

Her mom smiled but her dad looked hostile as ever. "that is a load of nonsense. You have no plan as I can see."

Willow stood up "well, maybe I don't need a plan. I've planned out most of my life and you know when I was the happiest?" she reached down and took Oz's hand, "It was when I found something unplanned and went with it. And you know what? Whether you like it or not I'm still going with it. I love you guys but I'm an adult. And as an adult I'm not asking if I can get married. I'm informing you I'm doing so. You can either be happy for me, or not." She sat down.

Her father nodded, "Fine. You're an adult. My opinion doesn't matter. Well you've informed us. I'm leaving now." he looked at his wife who calmly took a sip of her wine.

"Oh, I'm not going. I'm celebrating my daughter's engagement." Willow's mother smiled at her. Her daughter turned out like she hoped a strong independent woman. And as long as her daughter remained that way she was happy. Willow's dad however stormed out. "he will come around. You know him. It takes time for him to admit when he's acting childish. So do you have an engagement ring yet?"

Willow held up her hand there was switching of seating as the woman gathered close to comment on the ring and discuss wedding plans. While the guys made casual chit chat till the food arrived.

The meal was great. Cordelia and Buffy passed on desert to end up stealing bites from their date's desserts. Spike was happy to feed Buffy bites of his desert. For with every little moan of pleasure and lick of her lips after each bite made his pants feel a little tighter.

Cordeila had gotten Xander out on the small dance floor. Buffy sat watching them sway softly to the music. All the sudden a voice whispered threw his head. _'Ask her to dance'_ Damn poncy William. Spike rolled his eyes and responded in his head, _'I don't Dance!'_

William's voice persisted, _'Look at her. She really wants to dance. How can you deny her that?' _Spike looked at Buffy and could see William was correct. The longing to be on the dance floor was evident. Spike growled at William, _'I don't dance…' _and before William could speak again he cut him off, _'I don't know how to'_

He could almost hear William chuckle, _'Sure you do. Just like you knew how to read French. Trust me.' _

Spike couldn't think of a rebuttal to that at first so he snarked _'And I'm sure you would HATE to see me make a fool of myself in front of Buffy!'_

'_Not when she has that look on her face. Although seeing you look less then appealing would do wonders for my amusement. I couldn't do that to her. Besides. Like with reading the French, I'll be dancing too.'_ Spike didn't know if he liked the sound of that. But one more look at Buffy's face made the decision.

Spike stood and offered his hand to Buffy, "May I have this dance?" Buffy's face bloomed in to a radiant smile. As he lead her to the dance floor, William's voice whispered something else in his head. So excusing himself a moment he went to the entertainer for the night. And spoke softly to him.

The man nodded and Spike slipped him something. Then the man turned to the band. Spike rejoined Buffy on the dance floor. The look on her face was asking what he was up to, "You'll see, luv."

The music changed and the entertainer began to sing:

I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight  
I've never seen you shine so bright  
I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance  
Lookin for a little romance  
Given half a chance  
And I have never seen that dress you're wearing  
Or the highlights in your hair that catch your eyes  
I have been blind

Lady in red  
Is dancing with me  
Cheek to cheek  
There's nobody here  
It's just you and me  
It's where I wanna be  
But I hardly know  
This beauty by my side  
I'll never forget  
The way you look tonight

Spike held Buffy close as they swayed gracefully on the dance floor. Spike could feel William and all his emotions there. Mixing together with his. It was hard to tell what feelings where his and what was William.

I've never seen you look as gorgeous as you did tonight  
I've never seen you shine so bright, you were amazing  
I've never seen so many people wanna be there by your side  
And when you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away  
I have never had such a feeling  
Such a feeling of complete and utter love  
As I do tonight

Lady in red  
Is dancing with me  
Cheek to cheek  
There's nobody here  
It's just you and me  
It's where I wanna be  
But I hardly know  
This beauty by my side  
I'll never forget  
The way you look tonight

Buffy looked up from where she rested her head on Spike's chest. Looking in his eyes it was strange. She could almost see William looking back at her. But what was more breathtaking was the emotions that were also there. Not just the usual smoldering heat of attraction she'd become used to seeing in Spike's eyes. But a softer gentler look of adoration and …. No!…. yes?….Love?

As the song geared down, Spike felt himself moving in for a kiss. Buffy responded by slipping her eyes closed and reaching up to meet him. And just as their lips were about to touch the moment was broken.

"Hey guys we're headed home back to the dorms." Xander spoke as if he were oblivious to what he just disturbed.

Cordeila on the other hand looked irritated, "My god, you couldn't wait one minute to tell them that? Have you no sense of romantic timing?" she threw up her hands in an 'I give up' fashion and headed to the door. Not that Cordy was one to play cupid. But she figured this little crush Buffy had on her brother's best friend and soon to be fling with said guy while he suffered amnesia. Well that just screamed entertaining. And she would have had a major scoop for the gossip front if her bonehead boyfriend would have held his tongue two more seconds!

Xander fallowed Cordy unsure of what he did wrong this time. The spell broken Spike and Buffy headed back to the table to see Oz, Willow and Willow's mother also getting ready to depart. So they decided it was time to leave.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 12: True Emotions**

The drive home was quiet. Each lost in their own thoughts. William was still hanging around as Spike could feel him but he wasn't as up front as he'd been when they were dancing with Buffy. When they got back to William's apartment they took their coats off and stood in the living room unsure what to say. "Bugger this!" Spike growled and stepped up to Buffy and captured her lips with his. After a moment of surprise Buffy responded.

Spike could feel William wavering under the surface. He pulled back a moment only to have Buffy reach for him to pull his lips back to hers as she whispered Spike's name. As that name crossed her lips, that warm feeling he'd been infused with since they started dancing turned cold, and just like that William was gone.

For a moment in-between kisses Spike wondered if he was really surprised to find William loved Buffy. Not so much. But it did put a light on his own feelings for the girl. He was attracted to her no doubt. And he was starting to care for her. But love? If he were honest he'd have to admit he wasn't quite there. But he could be someday.

Little did Spike know Buffy was going threw her own mental war. What was she doing? This was William's body. And sure she was attracted to Spike but this wasn't Spike's body. What would William say when he came back? She pulled away a second and looked at Spike, "Do you love me?"

Spike looked at Buffy in surprise, "I…." he felt a chill on the back of his neck. No way this was gonna end good. "I want you…"

"But you don't love me…." Buffy pulled away. Maybe she could justify this if Spike loved her. Not that she loved Spike, but she knew given time she could fall. But she also loved William. What kind of love was a jumble, but she cared enough to not be able to use him like this. "I'm sorry Spike, I can't….. I can't do this to William"

Spike felt his anger flow, "What the bloody hell does this have to do with William? 'm not bloody William. 'm Spike!"

"I know that. Believe me I know that. But that's just it. I can't do this to William. He… he… believes things like this should be about love. I can't use his body like that. Maybe if it was love… but it's not."

"Please! The man's a bloody coward. Sure he could hide behind a statement like it should be about love. The truth is he probably never had the guts to go for it."

Buffy's own anger flared, "So if I think it should be about love too I'm being a coward? How pathetic is that? Anyone can screw any warm body that came along but it takes bravery to wait till you feel it's right! And how selfish would I have to be to take that choice away from him? It would be like rape. When he comes back…."

"He's not coming back! I hate to break it to you goldilocks. But he's been here all along hiding behind yours truly. He doesn't want to be here. He's too cowardly to handle his own life. I'm who he wishes he was. Do you really think he's coming back to be a looser when he has me to hide behind?" ok that sounded a bit egotistical. But still that's the way things seemed to him. She didn't know. She didn't have some bloody voice in her head playing dictator. As far as Spike was concerned William needed to make up his bloody mind and either stay or go and leave it at that!

All Spikes anger towards her drained when he saw the tears flowing freely down Buffy's cheeks, "Buffy?"

She backed away from Spike, "He IS coming back! He is! You're a liar! I don't care what you say! If anything you're probably keeping him away. Well don't bother I don't want you! Not now not ever!" and with that she turned and ran out the door.

Spike felt a tightening in his chest. He was washed over with a sense of loss. Like he'd had something precious stolen from him. "In a way, bloody well did…" He searched for the feeling he had when William was round wanting someone to take out what he was feeling on. But there was nothing. Wherever he was he was tucked far away from the conscious mind. Taking off his jacket and tie. He flopped down on the couch and undid the top few buttons. Closing his eyes he called to William his anger still simmering under the surface. As soon as he heard, _'What the hell do you want?!' _his cell phone rang.

'_well answer it' _ Spike growled at the voice, "give me a bloody minute…. Bloody pillock" he flipped open the phone and looked at the caller ID. Summers Residence. Why would Buffy's parents be calling him? Hitting a button, "Hello?"

"William? Oh, wait no it's Spike now right? Sorry, Buffy told me about …. Your condition. I… I'm trying to find her. Her cell is off and Willow said she was with you last she seen her. It's very important. I know you don't remember Riley…" the woman broke down in tears. There was some murmuring then a male voice was on the phone.

"William."

"Spike."

"Give me a break. You're William. Deal with it. I don't have time for this idiotic game of who am I. We just got word Riley, Buffy's brother and WAS you best friend died in the line of duty. So excuse me if I coddle your idea of being someone else. We need to get a hold of Buffy…"

"She's headed back to the dorms…"

"Thank you." then with a click the call was over. All the sudden Spike dropped the phone and ran to the bathroom where he emptied his stomach in to the toilet. _'NO…God No!…. Not Riley…. This isn't happening…' _Spike slumped against the toilet as his vision started to blur… the last thing he heard ringing threw his head was, _' she needs me…' _then all went black.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 13: What Was…Is Again**

William pushed himself up off the bathroom floor with one thing on his mind. Buffy. He grabbed his keys and ran out the door. He headed directly for the dorms. Knocking loudly he waited as he heard stirring inside. Soon a blurry eyed Willow came to the door. "Spike?"

"I need to see Buffy."

"Look I know you guys had a fight tonight, but trust me when I say now is not the time. Buffy has a lot on her plate right now. If your really cared…"

William cut Willow off, "Look, I know about her brother. That's why I need to find her. She needs me."

Willow seemed to process the change in Spike. It was like he was… "William? Is that you?"

"Yes! It's me can I talk to Buffy now?" God she must be a wreck. Surly she could hear his voice form inside. Why was she letting Willow play guard dog?

"Well, I would but she's not here. She said she needed to be alone. I tried to talk her out of it but she left before I could get dressed again." William only now became awear of her flannels pajamas and bed hair.

"I'm sorry to wake you Do you have any idea where she went?" William really not liking the idea of Buffy out wondering the streets at night alone as a rule muchless in this condition. Her driving her car around upset was an even grimmer thought. Buffy was an ok driver. Unless upset then she tended to not make the best decisions behind the wheel.

Willow stiffled a yawn at his mention of waking her, "No, I wasn't doing much more then tossing and turning anyway. As for where she is I'm not sure. There are a couple coffee shops open late and a couple of 24 hours diners but she seemed pretty focused on being alone."

That's when William remembered when Buffy was younger how when she wanted to be away from people she would go to the park near their house. But that was quite a drive. "Ok, Willow this might sound strange but there wouldn't happen to be a park around here that Buffy liked to go to?"

A light bulb went off in Willow's head, "As a matter of fact yes. There is one not far from here. She likes to go down by the man made pond and watch the fountain jets in the middle go off." Willow then gave him directions. Throwing Willow a quick goodbye he was off again.

She was right were Willow said she might be. The fountain off for the night she was stitting on a bench overlooking the smooth water of the pond. Willaim aproched her not wanting to startle her too bad he spoke her name softly. Turning to look at him he could see the tears stains down her cheeks as she spoke to him, "Not now Spike. I can't do this right now…" She then looked back at the water.

William's heart ached with hers, "Oh Buffy, I…if I'd been a stronger man I would have been there when you found out. I'm sorry I let you down…"

Buffy looked at him again this time studying his face, "William?" William nodded. She jumped up off the bench and ran and threw her arms around him "William! Your back! I knew you'd come back!" Then all the sudden she jerked away from him her eyes filled with tears, "Oh William! He's gone! H-he's gone!"

William hugged her to him, "I know. Your parents called. I know about Riley." William's own voice heavy with emotion. With those words Buffy started to sob and William started to shed his own tears. They stood there for what seemed an eternity crying in each other's arms. Each wrapped in the pain of loosing someone they loved.

Finally William pulled away. "We should get you back to your dorm."

Buffy shook her head no, "I don't want to." she looked up at him with big doe eyes, "Can I stay at your place? Willow's going to want to help and talk and I can't right now. She only met Riley once. She didn't know him like we do. I just want to be with someone who knows. Who won't need to…" William cut off her babbling.

"Anything you need. But you should call Willow and give the poor girl one less thing to worry about"

Buffy nodded tiredly, "Thanks for understanding William." she smiled sadly, "You always seem to."

With that William steered her towards his car. She was quiet during the drive to his apartment. Calling Willow as soon as they had got there. Giving her a pair of sweats with a waist tie so they would stay up and one of his white undershirts. While she changed he started some hot coco. Directing her to the bedroom when she was done he gave her a mug of the coco and Then went to prepare the couch for himself.

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked when he went to grab one of the two pillows on his bed.

"I'm setting up the couch to sleep on." he looked confused, "Like I always do when you stay over" Not that it has happened often but it has happened. So they already had the sleeping arrangement settled.

Buffy realized she was so used to him being able to read her wants she never voiced her need. "William, will you stay with me tonight." She looked at the bedspread the whole time not meeting his eyes, "I just…. I just need…" she started crying.

William was at her side in second his arms around her, "Shh… It's ok. I'll stay, if that's what you want." he felt her nod in to his shoulder and she hiccupped back her tears. Pulling away he wiped the remaining tears from her cheek, "I'm going to go change. Will you be ok?"

Buffy again nodded. He went and quickly changed in to his pajama bottoms. Walking back in to the room. Wondering if maybe he should dig out another undershirt so he was more covered up. But his mind went blank when he walked in the room. Buffy was laying in the fetal position her coco untouched abandoned on the nightstand. She looked so small and venerable. He wanted to go and wrap his arms around her and promise everything was going to be ok.

Instead he lifted the pulled back comforter over her and turned off the lights. He then went to the other side of the bed. He lay as far away as he could. He had been lying there in the dark looking up at the ceiling when he heard her speak softly. "Do you have to be all the way over there?"

"I didn't want to crowd you"

"If I felt crowded I wouldn't have asked you to stay. Please I just need you near. I don't know why I just do. Can we just hold each other? Just tonight?" Her voice was so small and unsure. He scooted closer and she shifted closer. He put one arm around her as she laid her head on his chest and wrapped one of her arms around his waist. They spent the next hour just laying in the dark holding each other. Taking comfort in each other. Finally surrendering to sleep.

The next morning William packed a bag then took Buffy back to her dorm to pack hers. They were driving to her parent's house today. It was a six to eight hour drive depending on traffic. While he waited for her to pack William couldn't help but think about how it felt to wake up with her in his arms this morning.

He woke before her. Waking with a warm sensation he never knew before. It took him a few seconds to not only register he was not alone but it was Buffy who was wrapped up at his side. He just basked in the warmth of having her near. Barely opening his eyes so he could look at her.

Soon she began to stir. As she moved beside him she woke up other parts of his body. Panicking William moved out of her grasp sitting up with his back to her to block her view of his problem knowing his movement must have woke her. "I'm going to get coffee started. We have a long trip ahead of us."

He peeked over his shoulder at the sleep rumpled Buffy. She yawned and nodded before curling up holding on to his abandoned pillow as if it were a teddy bear. He sat a bit more getting himself under control then slowly got up out of bed.

After starting the coffee he took a long shower. Peeking in his room he was relived to see Buffy had already gotten up. Quickly getting dressed he went out in to the kitchen where Buffy was enjoying a nice cup of coffee. She looked in deep thought when he entered but as soon as she saw him she flashed him an overly bright smile, "My turn?" upon his nod she put down her coffee and went to shower.

To keep his mind off Buffy and her current activity, he began to pack. Leaving a change of clothes outside the bathroom door. They would do till they got back to her dorm. As he packed his mind ping-ponged between Buffy and Riley not knowing which was causing him more pain to think about right now.

On the way to Buffy's dorms she was on his cell phone calling the college's main office doing what she needed to do to get time off from school. There was actual protocol in place to help students during this time of morning. They allowed the student up to three months for the purpose of morning if more time is needed then a special request would need to submitted.

Once Buffy was packed and they were on the road again they would speak of this and that. But two subjects where very much avoided. Riley and Spike. They would talk about anything else. Riley because the pain was still too fresh and Spike… well they each had their own reasons for not bringing him up. But there were no avoiding memories as they arrived in their hometown. By the time they pulled up to Buffy's parent's house both were on the verge of a fresh batch of tears. Their arrival at the Summer house was filled with hugs and tears. Again no one mentioned Spike. Instead plans were made. Memories shared.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N**** The only military funeral I have attended was for my grandfather and was too young to remember. So I gathered this information from a few sources and used the common details. If I get any of it wrong I apologize. Thank you for your understanding. **

**Chapter 14: Saying Goodbye**

That night William found himself wondering the house every room filled with a memory of Riley. He finally came upon Riley's bedroom. Opening the door he walked in. The room was the same as it always was. But it was different too. Knowing that Riley would never again sit at the desk or lay on the bed. Never listen to the radio or look out the window.

William sat cross-legged on the floor. He remembered when he was younger spending nights sleeping in a sleeping bag on this floor. When he got older he would stay in one of the house's two guest rooms that eventually was designated as his when he stayed over. But those younger years he spent right here on this floor. Staying up late talking and joking with his best friend.

William looked up at the bed. He could almost imagine a young Riley sitting on the bed talking when they were supposed to be sleeping. Tears fogged William's vision. It wasn't right. Of all people Riley loved life and spent his living it to the most. He wasn't reckless or anything but he put his all in to everything he did. He took pride in family and friends and was always truly there for everyone in his life.

William brought his knees up to his chest as he dropped his head and let the tears flow. He didn't even hear her enter not knowing she was there until her arms slid around him holding him tight. "I miss him too." Buffy whispered. William just nodded unable to speak. Thinking if he tried he would just break down all together. And right now he needed to be strong for Buffy and her family. Just like Riley would have been.

The funeral was to be military. William traveled with the family. Although his parents managed to show up for the funeral he felt his place was with the Summer's. High school and college friends where there with their families. Cousins, aunts and uncles also where all around. But there seemed to be an invisible bubble around Joyce, Hank, Buffy and William. The foursome staying close together drawing strength from each other. They all held together through the speeches and the sermon.

Then seven solders with riffles fired off shots three times. With each shot Buffy and her mother seemed to flinch. Causing Hank and William to hold them tight. Then as the band played 'Taps' the flag was ceremonially folded. Then the flag was presented to Buffy's mother. At this time none of the four could hold back the tears, but Hank and William allowed theirs to fall silently with stony faces as they held on to the sobbing women at their sides.

The gathering at the Summer's home afterwards was quiet. With the occasional comforting murmur and quiet sobs. The young children were sent out back to play unaware of the heavy hearts inside. Food was placed out but not much was touched. Eventually slowly people started to leave with promises of getting together again soon. Till once again it was just them, Buffy, William, Joyce and Hank.

After helping to clean up and put away the barely touched food. Joyce decided to go to bed and was fallowed by Hank. Leaving Buffy and William to sit alone in the family room. After a long stretch of silence they both decided it was time to sleep. Just before she went in to her room Buffy turned to William, "Nothing will ever be the same will it?" William sadly shook his head and they both retired to their separate rooms.

A few weeks later things around the Summer house where getting a bit easier. There was still a sense of sadness and loss but they were starting to be able to slowly move forward with their lives. Buffy was talking about returning to school even if she did take her classes back up right away. William had to return to work soon. He had responsibilities that couldn't wait too much longer.

This particular morning Buffy decided to rise early to help her mom with breakfast. Which they were in the middle of doing, when her mom brought up a subject she'd been wondering about for a while now. "So, what are you and William?"

Buffy looked a bit startled, "What do you mean?"

Joyce gave her daughter a look that said she wasn't nobody's fool. "You two have been getting a lot closer over the last few years and lately after the memory thing you've been by his side like your afraid he might disappear." Before Buffy could deny it Joyce held up a hand. "I know it's more then Riley's passing. I see a lot more then you or your brother." Joyce voiced hitched at the word brother. Taking a deep cleansing breath, she pushed onward, "You or your brother gave me credit for."

Buffy chewed her lip. Meanwhile an awake and dressed William made his way down stairs. He was just outside the kitchen when Buffy spoke, "I don't know mom. I liked him, but it wasn't until he was gone I realized I loved him. He was what I have been looking for."

William backed away from the kitchen. Who was she talking about? No, she couldn't mean Spike. He closed his eyes and remembered the last thing he witnessed when Spike was in his body. Her calling for Spike as they'd kissed. William back away towards the front door. He couldn't deal with this, not now. Pulling his car keys from his pocket he slipped out the front door.

He'd been driving with no direction trying to loose the thoughts in his head. He didn't see the speeding car weaving in and out of the lanes till it clipped the back of his car causing him to fish tail. As he tried to gain control of the car, it seemed he had two options hit the car next to him or slam in to the divider. As time seemed to slow he seen the kid in the other car causing him to jerk the wheel to pull the car away sliding him into the center divider. Closing his eyes the last sound he heard was metal twisting and glass breaking.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Then end has come. Thanks for reading.

**Chapter 15: Coming Together**

Here they were again. Together in the endless dark room, with a single bright light shining down. Spike was sitting sprawled out in a chair. He looked up at William, as he got closer, "Find ya can't hack it out there?" Spike gave him a smirk as he stood up. The chair disappearing.

Not wanting to show Spike's words hit it's mark he remained detached, "No another car accident, I think it's karma for all the hassle Riley and I gave Buffy when she went to get her license." he shrugged.

"So ya bloody well killed us then, mate?" Spike growled pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. Taking a long drag.

"Well I…" Williams words got cut off by a third voice.

"Your not dead." Both William and Spike looked in shock as Riley stepped from the shadows. Shaking his head he smirked, "William I knew keeping yourself bottled up would lead to you breaking out one day. But I never imagined this." he pointed to Spike.

Spike was the first to speak, "What in bloody hell you yammering on about?"

"Spike, Do you really think you're just something William came up with. Think about it open up let it all soak in." As Riley spoke William could see Spike was doing just that. Frowning something dawned on him. Soon Spike looked at William with Shock in his eyes.

"I'm You!" He dropped his cigarette and looked hard at William. "I remember everything now, I was always bloody there. You kept pushing me down and away. Kept tryin to get out but couldn't not till…" The accident hadn't produced something from William's imagination. It just gave form to the part of him that he denied. Giving voice and substance to his darker more confidant side. The part of him that wanted to speak out against those who dared to try and walk over him. The part of him that let his passions rule.

William shook his head no. It can't be, "That would mean if she loves you then … she loves me?"Spike laughed, "Think she loves me? Get a clue ya git. Loves you, always loved you, always will love you. Yer jus to stupid to see it." He knew he had the confidence to accept the love and passion inside Buffy without regret, but it was William who captured her heart. It was William she wanted to give her heart to. Spike was just the part who was strong enough to accept it.

"No, She said she realized she loved him when he was gone" trying to make sense of this new information. Still missing the things Spike provided his mind warred with his heart. Still refusing to see himself as someone a person could love. Especially a person like Buffy.

"Where were you after you hit your head, vacationing in the bloomin Bermuda Triangle? She bloody well thought you were gone didn't she?" Still fighting to make William accept the truth. To accept everything Spike was able to see so clearly.

Riley spoke up again. "Your both right and your both wrong. She loves you both for different reasons and in different ways. She needs you both. She needs William and Spike."

William spoke now, "how when we can only be one or the other."

"That's why I'm here. I'm here to let you know you can be both. You just have to accept each other."

William walked up to Spike and they stood staring at each other for a long time. Could this be true? Could they be simply opposite sides of the same coin? Do William dare hope he could be everything Buffy needed? With Spike's help, maybe he could. Finally they reached out hands and shook. A bright light emanate from the handshake covering them both. Once it faded only one stood. William in his normal clothing, but wearing Spike's duster. And his hair bleached like Spike's but instead of slicked back it was left in ariot of curls like William's natural style.

William turned to Riley, "I don't know how to thank you. Not just for this but also for everything you did for me growing up. Who knows who I would have become living my life alone like I would have without you."

Riley smiled, "Don't think you didn't make as much an impact on my life. You challenged me to think. To question things. If you hadn't I wouldn't have ended up with my own command. You helped me get threw a lot. Saw things other people including me are blind to. You were the only one I felt I could share any and every thought I had without fear. I didn't have to be strong big brother or confidant Riley. You accepted me for everything I was even the weaker parts of me. In doing that you made it easy for me to be strong. Now I only hope I've given you what you gave me. The ability to be a whole person. With both strength and weaknesses alike. That's why I can't imagine anyone I'd rather take care of my sister. You will take care of her won't you?"

William nodded, "From now till kingdom come." With that he embraced his best friend, "Goodbye, I'll miss you."

The last words he heard as Riley disappeared, "I'll be watching." Then he repeated the same words he said to William when he left for the military, "It's not goodbye, It's I'll see you later…"

William's eyes slowly opened. Looking around to find he was lying in a bed with his hand being held. Looking over he saw Buffy with her head down crying, "You ok luv?"

Buffy's head shot up, "You awake! I was so worried…. Wait, luv? Spike?" she looked on the verge of tears again. Maybe Spike was right. Maybe it was William she was talking about.

"Yes and no. We're both here together. I'll explain better later but you don't have to worry when I say for the first time this is completely me, William." Buffy threw her arms around him. "and this is how I plan to stay."

Pulling away she looked William in the eye. Taking a deep breath, "William, I have to tell you. I can't wait anymore. I love you. Not just as a friend, but forever woman to man kind of love. I know my timing sucks but I can't stand I almost lost you again without you knowing. Even if you don't feel the same I just had to let you know." She bit her lip as she awaited his response. Her fear he would turn away her love was evident one her face.

Even though he knew from what Spike told him, it wasn't the same as KNOWING. His heart leaped for joy at her words, "I love you too, pet." Buffy's worried look melted in to a brilliant smile, "I've loved you for such a bloody long time. I will love you forever and always"

**The End**

**A/N: I don't know if I'm going to do an epilogue. Let me know if you want one. Tomorrow is my birthday, and my birthday wish is for lots of reviews. I know some of the mechanics need work and I'm looking in to that. If anyone's interested in helping me with that let me know. And let me know if you want that epilogue…**


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